I hoped I’d never see this day, the day that I would have to say I have gained back almost all of the weight I lost from 2009 – 2013. But I have. And I’m humbled.
I wasn’t exactly embarrassed until I saw the last 20 pounds come back on, 10 of which came on in the last month while moving. And when I realized I’d gained those 10 pounds I also realized something else.
Food has been my coping mechanism for stress.
It seems like an excuse to say that, but I had maintained my weight loss for over a year and then a succession of stressful situations began to occur and aloing with the stress came the weight.
I have researched, discussed the subject with friends, prayed much and the only conclusion I have is I have to learn how to handle stress and not let it affect my healthy habits to the extent it has these last 4 1/2 years.
If life would settle somewhat I think that would help as well. However, I’ve been told life continues to change, so I know what really needs to change is my response to it. At least
So, that’s where I am today.
Nervous to start again.
Humbled by my inability to keep control over my overeating.
And ultimately…I’m staying honest.
While it seriously pains me to make this public I have to, so when I come back those who follow will know where I started from again.
I’m 224.2 pounds as of this morning. I feel every bit of the 60 pounds I’ve gained back, and I cling to a sliver of hope that I can get it off again.
No great fan fare. I will just get back to the basics of a balanced diet combined with exercise. I am tracking my eats and movements in My Fitness Pal and using this very neat journal I bought with some birthday money last month:
And I’m returning to blogging, because I still hope the details of my health journey can help someone else know they are not alone in the struggles that surround this kind of journey.