My New Ending

Today’s Weight:  167.0

Loss/Gain: +2.0 

After a strict week of eating last week, and knowing I would allow some indulgence for my birthday, I was afraid of this.  However, I was at least hoping to maintain.  

The days before and after my 1-2 days of celebrating I did great.  In fact, I was super excited Tuesday night when I was right within my calorie budget.  I thought I had it in the bag.  I indulged, but I was back on track and maybe I could even squeak out another pound loss, but at least I could maintain.  

Until Wednesday night after church.  Let’s say I did have the yogurt I planned, but then ended up with much more in the way of nachos and a few M&Ms.  *sigh*  

I don’t blog what I eat on purpose.  I don’t think I can handle the criticisms that would come my way when I’m up two pounds and then people see what I’ve eaten and feel the need to explain to me that my food choices could be better.  

I know that already.  I knew that when I began trying to lose weight.  Posting my weigh-ins weekly is all the pertinent info I care to offer and it really does say it all.  When you see that two-pound gain you know that two things happened:

Okay, I guess I just had to get that off my chest…back to finishing up this week. 

Last night, I felt like a complete and utter failure.  I won’t go into all the gory details, but I had a moment of tears and frustration.  Then I reminded myself, “I am not a failure.  Yes, I failed this week [to follow a healthy eating plan], but I AM NOT A FAILURE.”

My husband was very supportive and gave me a big hug when he saw I’d been crying.  I had wanted to keep losing so badly, but those old habits crept in so quickly.  As we crawled into bed I told him my little saying, “I am not a failure.  I failed, but I am not a failure.”

He kind of chuckled and then said, “How much weight have you lost so far, Leah??”  

“I know…”, I sheepishly replied.  

So, after a good night’s sleep and some time in prayer this morning I know I will keep going.   I don’t want food to consume my life, in either a good way or a bad way, but I know I feel so much better when I eat right.  

As I always say…I won’t quit.  It’s not over yet.  🙂

Thanks for checking in and have a good weekend! 

This past weekend had lots of happy moments in it…

First there was Saturday morning where I enjoyed a delicious breakfast of turkey bacon and an omelet made of 1 egg, 1 egg white,  a few spinach leaves and less than an ounce of cheese for a grand total of 168 calories.  So yummy!!! 

And I finished Saturday staying within my calorie budget.  That’s HUGE!!!

I made up for it plenty on Sunday, because we had lunch here…

and then in the afternoon the girls starting putting up these…

…so after our evening church service we could celebrate ….my 36th birthday.

My husband told me a week ago he was thinking of inviting some friends over for my birthday Sunday night because we had plans Monday night (my actual birthday is the 16th).  

It was a blast!! We served nachos with cheese, ground beef and jalapeños, a fruit tray and a veggie tray. 

Then we finished off the night with a homemade tres leches cake (thank you, Twin 2) and a Coldstone Creamery peanut butter chocolate cake….

….that was just as delicious Monday for lunch as it was Sunday night.  LOL 

I allowed myself to indulge in birthday treats for a full 24 hours and today I’m back on track.  It was great to have friends over and my husband is grateful that I now have gift cards to spend at Starbucks, Michaels Crafts and Bath and Body Works so he doesn’t have to see the money go there for a while.  LOL  

A favorite gift??  Honestly,I liked them all.  I’ve only lived here a year and my new friends really hit the nail on the head with the gifts.  I must admit though……I was super thrilled to get this Asics shirt with wicking from my family.

It’s my first ever “real” workout shirt thus far.  Outside of my running shoes and good bra, all my workout clothes (all um…less than 10 pieces bought in the last three years) have come from Wal-Mart or Target and none of them have wicking.  I’ve worn it once and can’t wait to take it out running.  

My husband also surprised me with a real pearl necklace.  I prefer pearls over diamonds and am tickled he remembered me mentioning one day, “I’ve always wanted a small pearl necklace some day…“.  

Oh, and one more thing…yesterday I took the kids swimming, but first we stopped to get a new bathing suit for me because mine had just gotten too big.  When the “support” can’t support because the suit hangs loose…well, my girls (No, seriously…”my girls” as in my daughters… BIG LOL) were like, “Mom are you getting a new suit before camp??” LOL  So, I did….

…in a size 14.   

I didn’t get a picture of that just yet, but it’s a black skirt and then a striped top in corals, pinks with a little black.  It’s modest and it’s cute …and I realized when I got home…I’m not one of the biggest moms at the pool anymore.  Another topic for another day, but it’s a good feeling.  🙂

And the party continues!! 🙂  

Note:  Thanks Instagram for cool photo effects on the party and cake pics. 

Today’s Weight:  165.0

Loss/Gain:  -2.5 lbs

Well, I guess cutting out the sugar and carbs worked; that and cutting calories.  🙂

I’d be jumping for joy if I wasn’t still feeling dragging.  LOL 

Actually, I’m glad to see results after all my hard work.  Usually after I fast I don’t keep that weight off, much less lose more.  

While I haven’t enjoyed all the foods this week one thing I have enjoyed is seeing that I am capable of sticking to a plan to lose weight.  It’s been fairly strict and I’ve done it.  It hasn’t always been comfortable, but I know getting to my goal is not going to be comfortable.  

So, now I nervously post this wonderful loss and hope, or should I say determine, outside a celebration this week I’ll be able to stick to a plan with a few more carbs and still keep losing.  

Wish me luck!

Okay..yes, I’m going to whine…

I can not work(out) under these conditions!!!  

Whoo boy!  It’s only been three days without sugar and grains and my body is feeling it.  I’ve been dragging, but then today just getting myself psyched up to do my 30-minute workout was rough.  

I didn’t want to do it. 

I was dragging.

I miss carbs…even just fruit…or just the tablespoon of honey in my yogurt.  PLEASE!!  

…and then I told myself, “Leah, only two more days.  You can do this.  Just do your best…and don’t forget the one good news….”

The silver lining on this week of “Why-the-heck-did-I-decide-to-do-this???” …..

I haven’t been craving sweets at all.  None.  

I’d like the honey back in my yogurt because plain greek yogurt is GROSS to me, and I love it with honey.  Otherwise, I haven’t wanted ice cream or anything like that.  

I’m told lowering carbs in the diet will do this and for someone with a sweet tooth like me it’s probably a good thing.  So, no sweet cravings give me something positive to look at for this week of no sugar/carbs.

Speaking of the week.  I had originally planned to do this Monday through Friday and then thought I’d tack Saturday on to it.  Well, I’m going back to my original plan of completing it through Friday.  Saturday I’ll still eat carefully, but I will add some whole grains and fruit to the day.  

The addition of whole grains and fruits is basically the only difference from the kick start plan I’m doing this week and the regular plan on Body Revolution.  That’ll be another post for another day. 

So…while I was feeling whiny this morning (and last night as I choked down more plain yogurt and girls ate ice cream) I did get the workout done and I will keep going.  I’m learning new things, I’m pushing out of my comfort zone and I can do this!!!

For six days this week (Mon – Sat) I am following Jillian’s Michaels kickstart meal plan for the Body Revolution to kind of get me on a track to healthier eating.  I have decided if I can fast I can stick to a healthy eating plan.  

So, basically this is a no-sugar, no grains week.  My only “cheat” is that I decided after two days of coffee with no sugar to add my one packet of sweet n low back in to a cup of coffee.  I also use half-n-half, which is not on her plan.  I just decided it’s my one thing that won’t change, so I’m okay with it.  She does suggest only two mugs of coffee a day and I’m abiding by that.  

It’s been interesting so far, but good too.  The meals do not all include favorite foods of mine (I tried brussel sprouts last night), but I decided I could do anything for a week.  🙂  

I’m pushing out of my comfort zone and as I’m staying away from sweets, tracking my calories and trying healthier foods I keep thinking, “So this is what it’s like to actually stick to a plan!!!” 😀  

I have a little time this Sunday and thought I’d share two things I found motivating over the weekend: 

Saturday evening we jogged for a mile, walked for a mile and then I challenged them to jog the last mile home.  They took me up on the challenge and finished strong.  

It was fun and we enjoyed some chatting about how to hydrate to run in hot, muggy weather, how to train for your first race and how to push past lazy and remind ourselves that the feeling of great accomplishment when done is always worth the effort.  

When we finished and they realized they ran two of the three miles we finished they were elated.  It’s very motivating to see them embrace a new activity and …. be able to join them in the process.  

Today’s Weight:  167.5

Loss/Gain:  – 4.0 lbs

Before you congratulate me I have to share that I took part in a time of prayer and fasting a few days during this week and the 4 pounds came off during that time.  The part you can congratulate me on is that I mindfully did not overeat the day before the fast, nor the day after just because I knew I would be going without food.  

Usually we feel the need to eat lots and lots the day before the fast because we know we’ll be going without food, but this time I told myself that it wasn’t necessary.  During the fast I included some prayers about my food issues and why I keep stalling from following what necessary to be at a healthy weight.  

There were no great revelations, no sparks from heaven, but simply a reminder of what is true.   In trying to gather my thoughts for this post I can only say that I know overeating is a sin.  The Bible calls it gluttony.  It’s an issue I think everyone faces at some time or another, but those of us with slower metabolisms tend to show we deal with it more obviously than others.  

It’s an issue that requires discipline and for some reason I’ll never understand it’s an area of discipline I seem to only be able to conquer to some extent…until now.  

This discipline issue is something I struggle with in other areas of my life and I’ve had it “up to here” with the lack of control and the frustrating consequences that always follow.  

Now, I do thank the Lord my areas lacking discipline are not as bad as other peoples, but this isn’t about comparing.  (Otherwise I’d be content at 30 pounds overweight, because ‘at least I’m not 100 pounds overweight like so-and-so’) No, this is about getting out of ruts of nasty thinking and bad habits that have only lead me to tears in the past.  

I don’t feel quite ready to share more than that, but suffice it to say that I am so grateful to God for the hope of freedom from the bondage of sins like gluttony, selfishness and lack of discipline.  Because there IS hope in Jesus.  In John 8:32-35 it says: 

I don’t have to live like the old Leah and always end up with old Leah results.  

I only have to be willing to surrender my will and remember to take it a day at at time.  

Today I leave you with a quote our pastor shared Sunday morning that I thought could also be applied to my weight loss journey.  

There is hope for me yet, and with God’s help and some vigilance on my part I can break free of old habits.  

Thanks for checking in and have a great weekend!  

Yesterday I wore a new dress to church.  It ends mid-knees which is shorter than what I usually wear and I was worried about my white legs showing so much.  I was also a little out of sorts with regards to my weight ..blah…blah..

Well, as I’m finishing getting ready my son walks in my bedroom and we have this little conversation:

Son:  Mom, that dress makes you look weird.

Me:  Weird?  Like how?  (thinking very white legs or shorter-than-normal dress)

Son:  I dunno…weird……like……..SKINNY.

Me:  *laughing* 

As I told this story to a friend I realized my kids haven’t seen me this size in the past years that they can remember, so I guess wearing a new dress that shows off my smaller size is a little “weird”.   I’ll take that kind of weird though.  *giggle*