Ready For the New Year Now

As I turned my calendar to February yesterday I had this thought, “Now I’m ready for the new year.”

Allowing myself to enter 2017 slowly was one of the best things I could have done for myself.  It gave me time to work through some sadness and think about what I really want for this time in my life — “this time” being mostly the here and now, with thoughts to the future, but not focused too much on the future … a day at a time as they say.

Case in point:  I set some goals for the new year and to support one of those goals I made a January goal of getting a plan of action for said goal on paper.

That was it.  “This month I will do this to move forward on this goal I want to happen this year.”

It was freeing to allow myself to do what works for me.

It was even more freeing to not really care what anyone else thought about my plan.

Of course, as soon as I felt so free not caring about opinions something was said via social media that unintentionally threw me into “Am I doing the right thing?!?!” thinking.

And I took another week thinking, talking it out with a friend and coming to the conclusion that yes, I am doing the right thing — for me and for where I’m at in my life right now.

Again, so freeing to not live bound by the need for people’s approval.

So, this year I needed a month to work through some things before I felt strong and ready to tackle projects. And you know what?  I’m so glad I took my time and really thought through things.

Because I’m ready now and I’m already making progress in my health like I haven’t made in a long time.  *insert very contented sigh*

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End note:  The scale agreed that these changes in mindset and subsequent actions were working and was down -1.8 this week… in case you were wondering.  🙂

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Weigh-In …Rediscovering My Own Race

If you’re one to judge by the scale, then I had a “bad” week:

Weigh-In:  +3.6 lbs.

But if you ask me how my week went I’ll tell you it was really good.

Because you’ll most like read and think, “You don’t gain 3 pounds on a good week.” let me deal with that number first.  Here it is:

(A) I knew the -4.0 last week at weigh-in was a little too high for the effort I’d given my eating the week prior.  So, after this week I have maintained a -0.4 loss, which is fair.

Especially considering….

(B) TOM showed up yesterday morning, which explained why I had so many cravings for Ritz crackers, chocolate, hot cocoa and once all three in the same sitting.  I’m not exactly proud of that, but there it is and those crackers and chocolate did get dumped in the garbage before I polished both off.

I own the week.  I thought I wasn’t due to begin my mentstrual cycle til next week, so I’m kind of glad it was early/I was off, because it does explain those carby cravings.  Whew!

I also own that I need to eat better.  Not just because I want to weigh a little less, but because crackers, chocolate, crackers dipped in chocolate and evening cups of hot cocoa can not be a regular thing due to their high sugar content and my family history of Type II Diabetes I’m trying to avoid.

However, last week I had some major mental breakthroughs regarding why I’ve chosen the plan I have to help me get healthier, being okay with the type of exercise I’ve chosen to do and for the first time in a LONG time I felt like I could even lose this weight the way I did before — without a specific plan and simply tracking what I eat to stay within a calorie budget.

I don’t think I’ll do the later just yet, because quite honestly I enjoy going to Weight Watchers meetings.  I have an awesome leader that truly looks beyond the scale and encourages lifestyle change, not simply following a diet.

And I know I need the accountability that comes from tracking my food and weighing in weekly.  I had a great chat with someone I’ve never met on social media about “diet mentality” and she said I’m still laced with diet mentality in my thinking.

Well, I have many thoughts to share on that subject, but for today suffice it to say we all need rules to govern certain aspects of our lives and her conversation made me really think about my choices and why I’m doing what I’m doing.

And I’m confident that what I’m choosing to do will lead me where I want to go.  I just need to keep that darn chocolate at bay more often than not.  lol

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Why I’m Not Overjoyed About Losing 4 Pounds

This week at Weight Watchers I weighed in 4.0 pounds lighter.

While I was glad to see my slow crawl to getting back on a healthier track had done some work I knew I hadn’t “killed it” and so I wasn’t ecstatic about such a large loss.

Yes, I went back to BodyPump, but but those were my only two heavy workouts for the week.  I think I went walking one other day, finishing up the week with three intentional exercise sessions.

With the way I ate during the week my eating and exercise should not have added up to a 4-pound loss.

I did cut back a little from my holiday feasting, but I was not restrictive and I know I over ate a few times.

So, instead of making me feel like I’m just the most awesome example of health and wellness what this loss did for me was show me that the big loss over Christmas really was as much water retention as it was overeating.  I trimmed back the sweets and didn’t eat out as much and that added weight came right back off.

Or it was a fluke and the scale will be back up on Monday.

Kidding.

But I’m not going to be super proud and act like I worked so hard for it.  The scale is fickle.

It can go down when you don’t feel you’ve earned it and it can go up even after you worked hard to stay within your health plan.  It’s a tool, but one I am careful to not let have too much power over my emotions.

So, when it’s up I try and not hate myself and, like this week, when it’s down an “amazing” amount, I don’t take all the credit either.

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Weigh-In … Revisiting BodyPump

I told you I was entering 2017 slowly, and now it’s been almost two weeks since I posted.  I really appreciate all the support for my need to head into this year slower than others.  I think a good step in the right direction though is even if I hadn’t received the verbal affirmation of my intent I was good with my view on this new year.  I didn’t need permission to do it.  For a people pleaser like myself this is very good.  🙂

img_9063Getting back on track hasn’t been as easy as at other times.

The first week of the new year I wasn’t feeling all that great, so I did what I could and didn’t get too inspired to eat really “good” and I lost -0.4 lb.  I earned that and I was fine with it.

Last week, after much thought, I decided I really miss BodyPump class at the YMCA.  I had quit going last summer for two reasons:

(A)  The first class of the week is the same time as my Weight Watchers class and while I enjoyed trying a few different classes, Mondays have become my favorite day to go.   I decided the meetings were more important than the class and I can get a different workout in later — which I often do.

(B)  The classes aren’t until 9:30am and I found myself kind of putzing around in the morning instead of getting something done while I wait to go to class.  When I get my exercise done earlier I am more productive in my day.  So, I started going earlier and liked how the rest of my day went.

However, I decided that I really miss those classes and so what could I do to change my schedule up and get to them?  (They are also only 20 minutes later than the classes I took in my old hometown and I went religiously to those..hhmm…)

I decided to work on getting something done in the time between my morning prayer/devotion time and class time and maybe even going as far as to go to the Monday evening class since I can’t get there earlier that day.

After seriously thought about it and made sure I was willing to make the schedule change I went on Wednesday and then again on Saturday.

Whew!  Let me tell you… walking, elliptical and even some light weights did not keep my legs in shape for squats.  I felt my quadricep muscles every step for two days straight.  Yowza!

Thankfully, by Saturday they felt a bit better and I made it through that class.  And I felt amazing getting it done.

And while I thought going back to BodyPump might not help the scale (due to muscles retaining water when they are worked, etc.) I did just fine.

My loss this week was -4.0 lbs.  Yes…. that’s Four Point ZERO.  And I’ll write more about that another day since this post is already getting a bit long.

Suffice it to say this loss is half getting back on track and half showing me that big ‘ole Christmas gain really wasn’t me being as horrible as it appeared.

It also inspired me to keep going.  And so I will.

Thanks for stopping by!

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Entering 2017 S.L.O.W.L.Y.

Entering 2017 has been very different than any new year in my recent history.

Usually I have my tree down by December 30th and I’m ready for my “cute and cozy” winter decor and looking at new goals and plans for the new year with gusto and joyful umph.  My sleeves are rolled up and I’m ready to embrace the winter as a time to read and learn and prepare to attack some changes that may be coming as the weather warms.

Not this year.

This year I wasn’t ready for 2016 to be over.

I’m told it’s because of my twins graduation from high school last spring and moving to two different states for college this past fall.

Sometimes my heart aches for my mother to discuss all of this change with, but she passed away almost three years ago.  I seriously think that has more to do with my ache during this change than the fact my kids moved;  I’m so happy for them, but this side of mothering I can’t ask her about and I didn’t feel prepared for it.  I guess when they were Sophomores I didn’t think to ask her about what it was like when I moved out of state right after high school.

Then at other times I think this hesitation to enter the new year is because I have been through a lot of changes and some very rough situations in the last two years and I am recovering, healing if you will.

Whatever the reason I know the past month I just felt a need to slow down and not rush around so much.  I was overwhelmed and I knew all I really wanted in 2017 was to slow down a little.

The week after Christmas was wonderful for that.  One day I took an entire morning to ponder 2016, what I learned from it and what I want to improve up, while setting up my new Ink and Volt planner.  It was glorious.

But then New Year’s came and the flood of goals and resolution posts hit and I didn’t feel ready for it all.  I just wanted to stop in that week of relaxation and enjoy what I felt I’d missed so much of in all the busyness this past year.

Unfortunately, stopping time is not reality, so instead I’ve allowed myself to enter 2017 slower than I have other years.

Yes, I have responsibilities to attend to and I am doing that.  But I am also allowing myself to revisit my goals I had set and really take some time to care for my emotional and spiritual health.

And for the first time this week I feel better about entering this new year.

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Weigh-In … Not Sure I’m Okay With It

When I started my journey I weighed on Fridays and posted my weight every week.  I stopped that after maintaining and then I started it back up periodically.

Well, I’ve decided to start it back up again.  I’m committing to posting my weight on my blog, and for this week at least I’ve posted about my holiday gain on my Instagram account as well (@mynewnending).  Having just finished up a challenge that ended up being an Instagram affair I wanted to share my current situation with those that fought through the holidays with me.

I always link to my blog for the detailed information.

And here it is for this week:

Over the past two weeks I am up +6.6 pounds.

This puts my current weight back at 199.2.

Had I already lost another 25 pounds I wouldn’t care as much, but when I’ve only lost 10 pounds this past fall that’s practically gaining all of it back.

**insert bulging scared eyes**

I was up +2.2 pounds over Christmas and really only expected about the same over New Year’s, but when I saw I was up +4.4 I wanted to cry.

I gave myself permission to not track and enjoy the week however I wanted, and I still exercised 4 days that week, but boy was some damage done.

Now, the silver lining is I did eat out the three days prior at places I don’t frequent.

On Friday we enjoyed some delicious cajun food with our kids.  It brought back memories of our trip to New Orleans and we loved every bite!

Then we celebrated our twins’ birthday with dinner at a Brazilian steak house, which is buffet style and I enjoyed everything from the fresh mozzarella and tomatoes to the Lobster Bisque soup to the various cuts of delicious steak.

Sunday we wrapped things up at a Mediterranean buffet we’d wanted to share with our college girls who were home visiting for the winter break.  I only ate til satisfied, but I indulged in pita and hummus.

I also indulged in baked goodies I had made over Christmas week and even a overly-sweet-to-me-now White Chocolate Mocha with half and half — yeah, I couldn’t even finish it, because it was too much sweetness for me.

I don’t remember feeling stuffed until the weekend eating adventures, which probably probably played a huge part in that 4-pound gain, so that is good.

But now it’s done and I am thinking if there’s anything I would do differently next year.  I don’t have an answer for that.  I think I’m sad the scale jumped so high, but I am also able to look at it as a reality check of how careful I need to be.

I have to be careful to not allow this to drag on to more than the holidays and I have to be strong enough in my decision to “not care” for a week that when the results of my “work” come I can be okay with that as well.

And, I guess I am.  I have to be.  😀

And now you know, which is embarrassing, but totally necessary so when the scale goes back down you’ll understand how pleased I am to have gotten back on track.

Did you experience holiday gains?  I’d love for you to share about it.

 

 

 

 

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New Year New Site

UPDATE:  It looks like all of my previous posts have been successfully moved over here! 😀

 

Hi!  Well, here we go!  2017 is upon us….and all I want to do is curl up under a blanket and rest.  Geez.  I have the makings of a cold, and it has not come at a good time for me.  But do colds ever come at a good time? 😀

Rather than make sure I have all the kinks out of this new site, I’ve decided to go ahead and post and promote it.

I originally blogged about my health journey at www.leahs-new-ending.blogspot.com, but a few months ago I decided to try out WordPress.

I confess…it’s always kind of been a bit of a dream to actually have my blog title as a dot com as well.

So, here I am.

To me I am continuing my blogging about my health, but to some of you I am a new blog to check out.

Eventually, my hope is to be able to transfer all of my old posts to this site, but whether or not that happens I will begin blogging from here.  And what better time to do that than at the beginning of a new year.

My health is important to me and I hope to inspire people by sharing some of my story.

It’s not always pretty, there are ups and downs, but I am always honest.  The past couple of years have really thrown me for some personal loops, but one things remains…I will not give up on my health.

My life depends upon it.  😉

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Minus TEN Pounds [Again]!!

Note:  I’ve been trying to upload a video I made after my post-Thanksgiving weigh-in, but I’m having issues and I’m impatient.  So, I’ll preface this post by sharing I DID NOT gain one ounce during Thanksgiving.  I stepped on the scale to see a happy exact same weight as the week before.  It was thrilling to know I could celebrate a holiday, eating whatever I wanted in moderation, and maintain.  *super contented sigh*

Now…on to today’s news:

My honest journey on the scale this year.
This has been my journey since going back to Weight Watchers last spring.  I lost steadily at first, hitting 10 pounds lost around Memorial Day weekend and then I started gaining again.  Within 2 months I had gained back all but about 1.5 pounds of what I had lost.  
It was frustrating, but I was in the middle of moving my daughters to college, so I gave a half-hearted attempt and tried not to let it bother me.  
After they were moved and settled, and we moved in August, I decided I was in a good place to focus on my health again.  
My first goal was to lose those 10 pounds again. 
Well, here I am … as of today 191.6 — down -10.2 from my 2016 highest weight.  

Woo Hoo!!
At 202.8 my clothes were really starting to feel tight;  and these were my newly purchased size 16w. Ugh. Now they are fitting better.  Nothing is really loose, but I don’t feel as squished in them.
Reaching my first goal of losing these 10 pounds [for the 2nd time this year] gives me hope and motivation to keep going.   Glory!
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Not Worried Re: Post-Thanksgiving Scale

I’m doing something a bit different today and blogging before I get on the scale at Weight Watchers today.  Here’s why… That number may reflect some extra food I consumed, but that higher number not define how I enjoyed this past week, nor how I feel about the future of my weight loss journey. 
That number may or may not tell how I enjoyed a turkey dinner full of things I don’t normally eat, but only one plate full. 
It will not tell how much fun I had eating my warm apple pie with vanilla bean ice cream while watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” with my family Thanksgiving night. 
It may or may not tell how I enjoyed a walk with my kids between dinner and our movie, and we giggled and laughed when they got crazy taking selfies.  
It may or may not tell how I decided to get an egg white sandwich with my non-fat flat white instead of a bagel and sweetened cream cheese. 
It may or may not tell how I enjoyed my one glass of egg nog while we decorated our Christmas tree Saturday, because that is our tradition.  
And, most importantly, if that number is up it will only show that I had a few extra things I don’t normally eat, but it is not a definition of how my journey will end up.  
Today I am back on plan, and I’m pretty sure my body is ready for less greasy foods as well.  🙂  Funny how that happens.  
Now I’m off to finish getting ready for my day and playing my favorite Pandora channel – Hipster Holidays.  
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Some Thankful Thoughts

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day here in the United States.  It’s a day we love to celebrate things we are thankful for, spending time with family, eating and enjoying some much-needed relaxation and fun.
But first, today I will be tying up some shop ends, preparing some foods for tomorrow and getting laundry done.  
Before I get into the hustle and bustle of my day I want to share a few thankful thoughts I’m having. 
Made using Rhonna|Designs App.
First off, I’m thankful for the mercy of God to never let me go.  I’m in no ways perfect, but I do serve a perfect God who has been there with me and continues to bring guidance, comfort and correction at exactly the times I need it.  Giving my life to Jesus was the best decision I ever made. 
Putting my very newbie lettering skills to work.

I’m also thankful for this man … my husband of 21 years.  He has loved me literally through thick and thin, financially, physically (ha! Seriously though..) and emotionally.  
I’m thankful for technology, probably more this year than every before.  I’m a computer nerd and have embraced the internet and the world it opened up to me from pretty much the beginning.  
But now having technology to help me stay in touch with my kids while they’re away at college….who knew Snap Chat would be considered a ‘blessing’?  😀 
Collage of “Snaps” my daughter posted recently.  lol
And I’m grateful for this sill daughter of mine who keeps me laughing even from states away.   
And this one who is only 3.5 hours away!  It’s been fun having her come down to visit a couple times this fall. 
When I told him I’m also down the same weight he said, “Let’s take a picture!”
And then this kid…my son…who has been working hard at school and on his own health and was super pleased the other day when he realized he has lost 9 pounds since the beginning of school.  He is built more like my family and has been trying to make better choices and stay active.  
This year I’m especially grateful for what may seem a small thing to some, but has been huge for me.  Having two of my three kids leave for college, out of state, sent me into a major transition from full time stay-at-home mom to…well, I didn’t really know what.  
I decided to start an Etsy shop — Dental Floss Lane — last winter just kind of for fun and I’m pleased with how it has not only helped me learn some new things, but keeps me busy … oh and I get paid to craft!!  
My happy place … and college stockings for my girls. 
My Etsy shop isn’t my life goal fulfilled, but more of a hobby and I’m thankful and honored that people would actually purchase items I’ve made.
Lastly, but one of the most important things I’m thankful for is the hope of change.
Having always been overweight I had many moments I never thought I’d be that thin mom, or healthy mom or even a woman who could resist large helpings and tons of dessert.  
Quite honestly, I didn’t feel I deserved to be one of those people.  It’s sad, but true.
But almost eight years ago I had a spark of “What if?” and I gave it a go.  I started this blog and made two very small changes to my life — I would only drink real soda with meals and I would walk for 30 minutes three times a week — and over time I gained control over my health. 
As the weight went down, people began following and encouraging me through my blog and I continued making changes for the better.  Subsequently my emotional health improved as well.  
Even after gaining 35 of the 70 pounds back and having to work on losing that again I have found endless support and encouragement on this journey.  The little spark in me that refuses to quit is fueled by the love and support I have found online and now in Weight Watchers meetings. 
And well, I can’t say how grateful I am for the hope of change without sharing how blessed I’ve been by the support of one specific friend — a.k.a. Dr. Stephanie.  She has been one of the biggest keys in my journey.  
We’ve known each other since we were kids and this health journey has brought us to places in our relationship we never really knew we needed each other before.  She is the introvert to my extrovert and the quiet “I know.  I get it, lady.” to my “I’m never going to succeed!!”  Even before I took my journey public to my real life friends she was there supporting me and praying for me.  
I’m a blessed woman to have such hope and support in my life and to have a body that is responding well to better changes.  It’s not easy, but it’s so worth it.
And now… the chores await! 
I wish you all a safe and Happy Thanksgiving! 
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