My Emotional Eating Lesson

Posted on August 3, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

When I read “are you an emotional eater? I usually feel like, “No, I don’t…except for the emotion of happiness. I love to eat to celebrate or when visiting with friends, etc.”

Today I realized that I do indeed eat as an emotional eater sometimes. I was upset about a situation and suddenly had no motivation to take the time to cook anything healthy to eat. So, I ate a hot pocket and Pringles for lunch finishing up with two homemade chocolate chip cookies for dessert. I wasn’t overly stuffed, but I knew that wasn’t what I needed to eat.

It wasn’t until a little while later that I realized I had eaten that junk because I was upset. Wow. I know I should’ve stuck with my better eating (I had hummus, salad fixins, fruit and enough healthier eats to pick from.), but I took the lazy way out.

This is something I’m going to have to work on..making myself stick to my healthier eating even when I don’t feel like making it. Thankfully, later my situation was rectified and I did much better at dinner.

When you’re working on weight loss as long as I have been you think you won’t learn anything you didn’t already know, but today I learned something new about myself. This is definitely why it’s a lifelong journey and not just a temporary fix.

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Weigh-In … Not Proud, but Some Good News Too

Posted on July 29, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today’s Weight: 190.5

Loss/Gain: + 2 . 0
Total Loss So Far: -40.5 lbs.
This is a day I’d rather not post my weight. Somehow I went from a two-week vacation, eating out and only gaining about 7 pounds to now showing an almost 10-lb gain from my lowest weight. I also realized as I updated that my total loss so far is just over 40 pounds, that I am now ten pounds away from my happiest moment of losing 50 lbs.
*sigh*
But my journey is an honest one, so I’ve posted my weight. I’m facing the scale and seeing that it’s time to get it together.
That being said, I do have a few news snippets to share:
  • Last night was a big NSV for me…I chose to eat an apple and half a cheese stick as an evening snack instead of the homemade chocolate chip cookie and milk I wanted.
  • I have been drinking a little more water daily.
  • I am beginning to take more seriously my food and am working on a plan for healthier eating/meal ideas with a close friend of mine who has been successful at weight loss and maintenance.
  • I started the Couch to 5 K running plan again. I’ve only ever ran regularly on a treadmill and it’s been over two months since then. I am now running in my neighborhood and doing my jogging intervals at the pace I used to run on the treadmill, thus…the reason for starting from the very beginning. I not only want to run again, but at a strong pace while outside.
So, I’m very unproud of my weight creeping up, but I am taking measures to correct the situation.
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New Running Shoes

Posted on July 26, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Short Story: I got new running shoes last Saturday and greatly enjoyed the process of finding the right shoe for me.
Long Story:
Last Saturday my husband treated me to a new pair of running shoes. He even looked up a store that does an actual fitting by watching you run. We live in a smaller town now and this shop was about an hour away so we made a day of it.
Seeing as this was only my second running shoe purchase, and a fun experience, I invited my daughter to take pictures for me and now I’ll take you on my shopping trip.
We went to Try Sports over in Wilmington. We were greeted by a store clerk that was very friendly and promptly began their “5 Steps to the Perfect Fit”
  • She took a little clipboard and asked me a few questions about my running and what I was looking for in a shoe. Me: I’m getting back into running and want to make sure I have a good shoe that can take the pounding this body gives it when jogging. 🙂 And it’s been a year since I bought my latest pair of running shoes. I usually try and “run” three times a week when I’m going steady.
  • Second she measured my foot size and confirmed I wear an 8, so in running shoes we would try an 8 . 5. Although some shoes run small, so we might try a 9 in some styles as well if need be. She also explained to me about purchasing some insoles that would be formed to my foot and would last for a couple pair of running shoes. They could also be used in any close toed shoe.
    Third she checked my arch on this scanner looking machine. She had me look as well and I’m pretty average in that area.
  • Fourthly she did a video gait assessment wherein I jogged in a “neutral” shoe from their store on a treadmill and then we watched it in slow motion on a video screen. She took it frame by frame and we were able to see that I do pronate slightly. Me: THIS WAS SO COOL! Yea, so I’m a nerd and I felt so special getting fitted for my own best running shoe. (This shot isn’t showing the pronation, but just the view of what it caught on camera to look over later.)
  • Finally, it was time to pick out shoes. She advised I look for a medium support. I don’t pronate a whole lot, so I don’t need restrictive shoes. Me: This is where it gets hard for me still. I switched from Asics to Nike last year, but today the Asics felt so much better than anything else. *sigh* I hate deciding which feels better since new shoes always feel better when you’re trying them on. I read about Mizunos and Brooks and think those should be the shoe for me, then I remember how I always wear Nike and think that should be it, I finally decided to go with the Asics GT 2160.
I’m thinking after I become a more solid, regular runner maybe I’ll have “my” shoe of choice. In the meantime I have to go with what feels good at the time and try them out. Maybe I should take notes as I wear them for future purchases.
We decided since I do pronate a bit to go ahead and get the fitted insole so I can use it in my old tennis for walking. So, she fitted me for those by having me stand on these blue foam blocks and she rolled my feet back and forward on the warmed insoles until they fit my feet perfectly. I’d try to explain these, but probably do horribly, so suffice it to say that my feet felt very nice in these the rest of the day when I put them in my walking shoes.
My husband even agreed to purchase a good running bra. I didn’t have my daughter takes pictures of that fitting. *giggle* Trust me, trying to fit a very snug bra over sunburnt shoulders and back was funny to me, but not something I’m sharing a visual of with you. Your welcome. 🙂
Back to the bra…I’ve been putting off spending money on a good one due to the cost (my Juno bra was $52) but since I’m not losing quickly and my chest aches when I run I decided to ask for one. My love was so sweet to add this to our mounting pile of purchases, and I was thrilled because ‘the girls’ didn’t move at all when I jogged in place with it on in the fitting room. Glory!!
Yes, it was a fun shopping experience for me. I already have a Garmin, I get Runner’s World magazine and now I have new running shoes and a chest brace/girdle good running bra. I’m set and ready to get back to my new, most difficult and yet rewarding exercise.
Hope you enjoyed the shopping trip! 🙂
p.s. Thanks to my dear Twin B for the photos. Great job!!!
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Loving Yourself and Enjoying Life

Posted on July 23, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding
We had a great time at the beach yesterday and I had my daughter take this picture to share a quick thought with you that has become very real in my life.
I’ll have to expound later, but two things:
  1. Before I even began losing weight I had to really learn to love myself just as I was. It’s not easy, but it was key to breaking through mindsets that told me I couldn’t lose weight, because I’d never be perfect.
  2. I also came to a point where loving myself as I was also freed me to enjoy such activities as taking my kids swimming. I’d be lying to say that I never think about how I look. I’m pasty white, have spider veins in my legs and about 50 more pounds to lose, but….I’m a work in progress and this is the body God gave me. I refuse to sit on the sidelines and miss enjoying time with my family because of my imperfections.
Folks, I still read blogs here and there of women who are at their goal weight and aren’t happy with their bodies. It makes me sad, because weight loss apparently wasn’t the answer for their insecurities. That’s because it’s not the complete answer.
While I still have work to be done to be healthier, my joy in life is not dependent on having a perfect body. I thank God for helping me come to this point, because our day at the beach was so much fun. I would’ve hated missing out on swimming with my family just because I was too embarrassed to be seen in a bathing suit.
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Weigh-In … Honesty

Posted on July 22, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today’s Weight: 188 . 5

Loss/Gain: +1 . 0
Total Loss So Far: – 42 . 5 lbs
Well, folks, today’s weigh-in is just honest and the truth. I’ve been reading blogs again here and there and it’s helping me to get motivated to get back on track.
Yet, I have a confession…since the best way to succeed in this kind of journey is to be honest…I’d like to say I’m not ready to get back into the swing of things, but as I ate some ice cream last night I had to admit it wasn’t that I wasn’t ready, but that I wasn’t willing.
I’m not exactly proud of that, but it’s true. I’m ready to feel good and to get back to good exercise and better eating, and I have cut back my portions, but I find myself not willing to do what it takes just yet.
For me with a super-slow metabolism it means moving a lot and eating very light, with treats in moderation. I feel good when I do this, but lately I just haven’t wanted to cut out the extra treats (because the evening treats are what’s getting me…I start the day out very well) Sad, I know. It’s something I know I’ll always face in this journey.
However, don’t worry, I’m not throwing in the towel and giving up. I am determined to become a healthier, happier woman who can control her weight.
I weigh myself every day to remind me of what needs to be done. I do want to get back on track and reach that weight loss goal, but I know what it takes and I have to be willing to make the changes to get there.
I’m working on it…. in the meantime. My husband is off of work today, so I’m off to make breakfast for the family and then we’re headed out to the beach. I’m also hoping to get a new pair of running shoes this weekend.
Have a great Friday everyone!
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3-Minute Run & Running Friends

Posted on July 22, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding
First off, I’m not expecting anything wonderful on the scale tomorrow, but I will be checking in with my weight then.
On to more exciting things….

So I don’t know exactly how long I ran today, but towards the end of my walk this evening I jogged a few light-pole-to-light-pole intervals. I seriously only jogged probably a few minutes, but it sure felt good. 🙂

I remembered this poster I saw on a random blog the other day and told my family about it when I got home and was riding an endorphin high.

I haven’t figured out where this image came from to see if they have a poster, but I might have to make myself a refrigerator magnet.
Today I also had coffee with some ladies and found out one of them is a runner. Another lady said she likes to run every so often and just texted me a few minutes ago that she went running this evening with some ladies from our church. I told her I’d join them when I’m not so slow… partner running…another topic for another day.
For now, it’s getting late and I’m going to sit and read for a bit. G’nite all!
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Wednesday Post #2 – Low on the Priority List

Posted on July 20, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

While I’m so glad I went for walks the last two mornings I didn’t go this morning. I just didn’t feel like it. I might make myself do a workout DVD later today, but I didn’t walk. Having not gone for my walk threatened to vex me this morning, but I have to say that I’m leaning closer to the “just-not-feeling-it” side of things, but I’m not in the “I-don’t-care” mode.

I think what it boils down to, for me, is that right now my healthiness journey is not high on my priority list. Lately my mind is consumed with putting my house together, decorating ideas (I’m changing things up a little bit) and trying to perfect it all, emptying the house of boxes and packing paper and then still preparing meals, doing laundry, taking care of my household and enjoying lazy summer days with my kids.
I kind of feel bad for it for two reasons. One, I am not getting any closer to my weight loss goal and we’re over halfway through the year. And two, because this also means I’m not reading blogs right now either. I only happen to sometimes read one because at one point I signed up for the RSS feed and it comes to my email. Otherwise, I see some posts when I log on to post or to approve the comments, but I don’t sit and read them daily.
Okay, there’s a third reason that’s just recently begun to bug me…I miss how I felt physically when I was jogging and using the elliptical. We only have one car for another couple of months, so that won’t change any time soon…going to the gym I mean. I don’t like giving up evenings with my family to workout, especially since my husband was gone so many years studying or working part-time in the evenings while he was in school. So, I have to get my exercise in here at home for the time being.
School starts here in just over a month and I’m hoping to have the boxes gone and begin getting back into “it” then. As I said before I won’t give up. Eating fast food so much on our trip and having an upset stomach sure told me that I was ready to eat real food again and feel better about myself, but it’s just not happening as fast as I thought it would.
I don’t feel like quitting, I just feel like I’m kind of doing a little bit to keep from gaining any more weight and I’ll get more serious about losing again when other priorities are checked off my To Do list.
Can anybody relate to this? I guess it’s a good thing my blog’s name is “My New Ending” because as long as I’m alive I’m working on an ending…and it may just take the rest of my life to do. sheesh…
Have a good day everyone and thanks for “listening”.
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Wednesday Post #1 – A Walk or Two

Posted on July 20, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding
I wanted to post this yesterday, but I didn’t get it done before my husband came home and needed the computer.
Monday and Tuesday (yesterday) I went for walks in the morning. It’s been kind of fun walking around my new neighborhood and seeing the different houses. I haven’t gone too early, but it has been nice when I’ve gone. We now live in a pretty new neighborhood that feels very friendly and safe. I noticed right away every street has sidewalks and they are pretty even. This makes me very happy!!
Our old neighborhood didn’t have sidewalks everywhere and many of them were beginning to lean heavily to one side or another, or had large cracks in them. It didn’t make for very smooth sailing walking all the time; though I used to think it was good to work different muscles when I tried to get around it all.
Anyway, it has felt good to get some walking in. While the scale is not up much my body is noticeably less toned than before I moved. It may not be an hour at the gym, but it’s something. 🙂
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Weigh-In … Getting Back to Normal

Posted on July 15, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today’s Weight: 187 . 5

Loss/Gain: – 2 . 0
Total Loss So Far: – 43 . 5 lbs
I decided that since the scale is back out it is time for me to start back up with my Friday weigh-ins. I must say that I haven’t gotten back to regular exercise just yet as I’m still unpacking. However, I have begun to get back to more health-friendly portions and it’s beginning to show.
I’m already down a couple of pounds since Tuesday, so that is good. I had eaten a heavy meal the night before I weighed myself then, so maybe that’s all it is, but I’d like to think my changing back to “new normal” has had something to do with it as well. 🙂
Have a great weekend everyone!
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The Scale

Posted on July 12, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Yesterday I unpacked the scale… as my friend and I both said…

dun…dun…dun…dun…duuuuuhhhhnnnn 🙂
This morning I stepped on that scale and the results are 189 . 5 lbs. My last weigh in was one month and two days ago wherein I weighed 182 . 5 lbs. So, that means I’ve gained 7 pounds this last month.
I am not surprised and, honestly, I’m glad it wasn’t over ten pounds. I took a break and figured there’d be a gain when all was said and done. There was no scheduled exercise at all this month and I overate more times than I’d like to admit.
Does this scare me that I’ll never lose the weight? Well, last week I had moments of those fears, but then I realized that no I’m not scared. I have changed and this last month was a vacation, out-of-state move and summer break starting all rolled into one month. Things got hectic and I have emotionally allowed for that in my life.
Stepping on the scale did show me what I could already tell by how my clothes are fitting. It also forced me to face what some of my choices this last month caused. (More on the what I could’ve done differently/do I wish I’d have done things differently later…)
And like I’ve been saying recently, my life is slowly getting back to normal. Every box I unpack puts more order into our home and into my life; and every walk I take, every better food choice I make also puts order in my life health wise.
Even after this large gain I still refuse to give up. It’s one month in, Lord willing, a very long life. The scale simply put things into perspective and I’m glad I stepped on it today.
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