Weigh-In … Reprimanded

Posted on September 28, 2012 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today’s Weight:  169.0
Loss/Gain:  +2.0 lbs.

Note:  I only put off posting because I’ve been extremely busy today and then my computer was acting up.  Of course, I probably would’ve fit in if it would’ve been better news…*sheepish grin*..but I really have been going, going all day long today.

Now…on to the regular post.

Argh.

Remember how you felt when you got reprimanded for doing something you knew better than to do in the first place?

Better yet, did you ever get a B or C on a test you didn’t really study for until the very last minute..the night before; and then knew the reprimand you were going to get at home for not preparing was well-deserved…even if you didn’t want to hear it?

The latter situation is exactly what I thought of when I stepped on the scale today.

“You can’t eat non-weight loss portions and exercise only two days and then get upset when the scale goes up.”

I know.

I know exactly why the scale is up, and I am already back on track to fixing it.  However, having a great eating day the day before weigh-in isn’t going to change a week’s worth of non-weight loss eating.

So…

It is what it is.  This week has been very busy and very out-of-the-normal for me, but really my food choices have been my own and I know better.

Dang.

Good news.  I’m back on track.  Learning to make better choices no matter who is eating “on vacation” around me (that happened this week and I just let myself get sucked in..).

In fact, I had a good 4 mile run this morning and was reminded once more that it’s never too late to start a new beginning.

Have a good weekend!

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Motivational Monday – 17 Years Ago

Posted on September 24, 2012 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Today is a happy day for me – for two reasons…
One … It’s my 17th wedding anniversary, and we both still do…want to be together ’til death do us part.
 Two … I weigh the same as I did on my wedding day and fit back in my wedding dress.  🙂  
The first year I was married I gained 30 pounds and for all but one year I stayed very overweight.  My husband never loved me any different, I gave birth to healthy twins and a healthy baby almost three years later and I’ve been blessed beyond measure with friends and happy times; but I never got control of my eating or was active.  
If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time you know that has changed.  And now, eleven years since the last time I was this size I know there is hope that I’ll never be very overweight again.  
And that makes for one happy married lady!
By the way, my girls knew I was going to do this post (Twin B had to do photography..) and as we were getting busy this weekend I said, “I don’t know if I’ll have time to get my dress out. I’ll just do it next year.”  
Well, Twin A replied, “No.  You need to do it this year, Mom, because next year you’ll be much smaller and it will be too big!” 
Awww….such faith they have in their mom.  Love those girls!! 
Motivation?? Yes!! Both the faith of my kids in my abilities and knowing that if I was finally able to get back into this dress after thinking I’d always be the “fat mom”, then anything is possible.  🙂 
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Weigh-in … Freedom in Doing This for Me

Posted on September 21, 2012 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Today’s Weight:  167.0
Loss/Gain:  – 1.5 

 —>  That’s what I did when I saw the scale. 

This past week included a visit with TOM, which isn’t the best eating time for me.  So, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  I was hoping for a maintain and was happy with a loss.  
After posting Wednesday about figuring out my new schedule and getting more sleep I’ve felt so much better about getting back on track.  Not only am I better rested and motivated to keep working towards reaching my healthy weight, but I feel free to do so … in the best way for me.  
Please allow me to explain (or stop there if you need to go, I completely understand.)
We all know there are realities that need to happen for weight loss.  For me, I need to eat less sugar and starchy foods (more on that later), be content with feeling satisfied at a meal and not needing to be stuffed.  I also need to exercise regularly.  
And I have times I do great with all of this and other times I don’t do so well.   Outside of following the above, one of the biggest battles I’ve fought in this journey is feeling like I’m losing weight the “right” way.  
Some days I might feel like I fit in with the “popular” health crowd because I’m doing what everyone else is doing, and some days I may feel like I’m so not a healthy eater and thus not “popular”, but you know what….I don’t really need to care.  
And when I don’t care, when I simply learn and change in ways that are beneficial for my health, not change just because I’m bowing to the peer pressure of the weight loss world, I feel so much more free.  
Free from worry that I’m not doing something right.
Free from rejection if I’m not eating like ________.
Free from fear of failure because I don’t live like _________. 
Don’t get me wrong, as I said above I know what needs to be done to be a healthier weight.  I know I’m a girl who is not going to be naturally thin and there are boundaries I have to set to keep me in a healthy place.
But when I take the focus off of what others think of me and my choices and place it on what I need to be doing for me, let me repeat that … for me….not for somebody else…for me, it makes for a much happier journey.  
*insert contented sigh*
If I can only get my kids friends, fellow church sisters, oh heck…everyone to learn this lesson before they are 36 years old….  🙂 
Well, time to go.  I’m off to get moving on a what will be a very busy day and weekend.  Thanks again for checking in on me.  It’s not over!!  🙂  
Have a great weekend!
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Getting the Timing Right

Posted on September 19, 2012 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Short Story: 
I need more sleep.  I have been dragging horribly every day and I find myself drinking extra coffee and eating extra food to try and stay awake and/or get more energy.  Not good.  So I had to figure out a new schedule.
Long Story:
One of my friends has sent her oldest child off to kindergarten this year.  It’s the beginning of a whole new life for their family; one that includes school schedules and a whole new arena of planning meals, errands, and for her, yes, workouts too.  
She’s had this great routine going and now having a child start school has meant rearranging her schedule.  When we discussed it one day I felt like I was old hat at this since my kids are in middle and high schools now.  
Um, not quite. 
Throwing high school into my school routine has forced me to change things up as well.  
The high school only starts fifteen minutes earlier than the middle school, but it’s fifteen minutes that has really thrown me off.  
To get up and do devotions before the kids are up and downstairs, 5:15am at the latest, just hasn’t happened without dire consequences to my wakefulness.  I’m a lady who needs a good 7-8 hours of sleep to function well through a full day.  I’ve had days where I’m so exhausted I can hardly get anything done.  I’ve even had to take naps to get through some days.  I try to get to bed earlier, but it doesn’t always happen.  
Now the reason for getting up before them is to do my devotions early so that I can workout immediately after I take them to school.  This still allows plenty of time in my day for errands, chores, etc. before leaving to get them from school (which is now fifteen minutes earlier than last year as well.). But if I end up taking a nap before getting them doesn’t that cut my day short anyway?? 
This may not all make sense to you, but let’s just say I decided that instead of dragging all day, and drinking extra coffee and/or eating extra food to try and get some energy, I will get up when my kids do – 6:00am – and come home for devotions before starting my workout.  
If I only get a few things done before they are home from school, then so be it.  We’re home by 3:05 in the afternoon, so I still have plenty of my day left to do things, it’ll just get done with them home versus in the quiet.  
And I’m so okay with that idea.  
Yes, let me tell you, these past two days that I’ve followed this new schedule have gone much better already.  
Glory!
p.s.  I have to add, I’m so grateful I have a life that allows me to rearrange my schedule to allow time for sleep.  I know not all moms are so lucky.  🙂
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Motivational Monday – Setting an Example

Posted on September 17, 2012 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Last night a conversation with a friend who would like to start reading my blog got me thinking about being an example.  As I readied myself for bed I remembered another time in my life when I decided I needed to be a good example. 
My twin girls were around two years old and I was teaching them how to make their little toddler beds every morning.  We started with the basics of just straightening the blanket and making sure the pillow was in the correct spot at the head of the bed and went from there.  It was simple, but I began to work with them to make it a daily habit.   
I remember thinking that if I was going to teach them to make their beds I better make sure I was doing my own every morning.  I usually did, but there was something about knowing they would see my room and I wanted them to see that Mommy makes her bed every day just like they were being taught to do.  I didn’t make a big deal out of it.  I just did it.  
In the same way, hearing a few words like “You’re inspiring!” “I want to read your blog!” and “I need some motivation.” made me think about how the healthiness journey side of  my life is becoming an example.  It’s a bit nerve wracking, because I’m so far from perfect and I eat junk, and my journey has been so slow, etc., but the truth is I have lost 60 pounds and I’m still losing.  And knowing someone is watching me and looking to me for inspiration is a bit motivating.  
It makes me want to do better, to keep pressing on towards my goals and know that as I stick to my new ending I may help someone else find theirs.  
Oh, and I love this ad I saw on a sidebar this morning… 
   (Can’t remember what company it’s for, sorry..) 


Amen!  Have a great week!
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Weigh-In … I Found It

Posted on September 14, 2012 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Today’s Weight:  168.5
Loss/Gain:  – 0.5
I’ll take it.  In fact, no matter what the scale said I had good news to share today. 
Short Story:  
I felt like I’ve lost my weight loss mojo, desire to lose any more weight, etc. etc. and wasn’t sure how to get it back or whether or not I wanted to.  But I’ve found it again.  One day at a time I will keep going.  
Long Story: 
Pretty much the last month I’ve been struggling to want to lose any more weight.  I’ve struggled with the desire to keep fighting.  I was happy with what I’ve accomplished and comfortable.  Okay, not really.  I was only comfortable to some extent, but I knew I wasn’t content to settle.  
This past week I’ve been only kind of trying to figure things out, but I really haven’t felt the need to look into the deeper meanings of why I don’t want to keep losing.  Over the past three years I’ve done a lot of soul searching with regards to my weight and now I just felt like it’s coming down to fine tuning my discipline.  
By yesterday all I could say was, “I’ve lost my weight loss mojo and really can’t figure out when I lost it or how to get it back.”  I fully expected that to be the end of today’s post.  I would’ve let you all know that I’ll let you know when I figure it out, have a nice weekend, yada yada.  I even found this great picture through Google to explain how I felt: 
But then last night something happened.
I’m not even exactly sure what it was.  I just know I was exhausted and as I thought over my day I realized I had made some better choices than in past days.  And I said to myself, “I can’t quit.  I don’t know exactly how I’ll finish, because it is hard.  But you know what…I didn’t think I could run a 10K last May either, but I did it. ”  Then I fell into some much needed sleep…at 9:30.
I slept a good solid eight hours, woke up and went about my usual morning activities.  
At the end of my devotional time I decided to bring the issue before God one more time and I found myself saying, “I just want to enjoy the journey.”  Then as a few tears rolled down my face I realized this is part of the problem.  
When I think of what it’s going to take to reach 140, from where I’m at today, I know it means a little more sacrifice than it’s taken so far.  I haven’t wanted to give up the extras, and yet at the same time I’ve been indulging too much and not feeling well either.  
I’ve also heard a couple people who’s weight loss success I’ve found inspiring complain about how hard it is to maintain.  A couple of them have gained some weight back.  That’s scary to watch sometimes.  I know it’s life and I completely understand where they are coming from.  But to hear such negative “It’s so hard..this is no fun” talk doesn’t really inspire someone who’s where I’ve been lately. 
It doesn’t inspire, if that’s where the story ends.
And my story will not end there.  As I prayed I really asked God to help me find out what I need to do and help me to be joyful in the process.  
I know there will be frustrating days.  I know it’s not easy.  But I really want to be a person who will rise to the challenge with joy in knowing what eating healthy and moderate portions will bring to my life, instead of fighting all the way and whining about how hard it is.  
There is still no magic plan.  I will continue to work on the basics.  I will not worry about tomorrow, but take care of today and take it all a day at a time.  
*insert contented sigh* 
Yes, for the first time in a long time I can again truly say…it’s not over.  I’m not giving up.  
The little spark of hope that I might reach a healthy weight or, more importantly, become a woman who has conquered her overeating has grown back into a gentle burning flame steadied by the hope and knowledge that I can do this.  
Oh, and for a Friday funny…One should look up when walking…or risk hitting his/her head on low-lying branches…um, like I did today.  Yep, I walked right into it and it poked me in the head.  I laughed right out loud when it happened.  😀
Thanks for checking in on me.  I truly appreciate the support and concern through this journey.  Have a great weekend!  
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Remembering 9-11

Posted on September 11, 2012 by Leah@MyNewEnding
I want to take a moment today to remember those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001.  My prayers go out to all of the families who today are remembering the day they lost a loved one in that awful tragedy. 
Also, thank you to the men and women who continue to serve in the fire departments and police forces across the nation.  And thank you to those who have served and continue serving in our military to fight terrorism and protect this land that I love. 

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Motivational Monday – Nice Weather

Posted on September 10, 2012 by Leah@MyNewEnding
I’ll be honest with you folks, I’m still working towards getting the “want to” to finish losing weight.  So, I enjoy posting things on Monday that motivate me, hoping it will all pile up into enough motivation to get me moving down the scale consistently.
For today…good weather is a great motivation to exercise, and for me that means to run!
I was planning a long run today and was thrilled when I saw it was only 60 degrees when I took the kids to school.  By the time I headed out it had warmed up a little, but just a little.  After my legs woke up (another story for another time) I really began to enjoy my run.  It was lovely and I made good time.  
Oh, and one more thing that was motivating about this run and the good weather….there was a slight wind.  Wind used to scare me when I would run in Oklahoma.  It slowed me down so much, and when I was barely running a 12:00 minute mile pace I felt like a turtle trying to slog it’s way through mud.  It was so vexing.  In fact, I always preferred running on a treadmill versus outside because of the wind.
Now as I felt the wind coming at me I thought, “oh, good… cool air and resistance!  This will help make me stronger.” and I tried to keep my pace steady.  *chuckle* 
Yes, it’s motivating to know that there are things that used to scare me, but no longer do.  Glory! 
Okay, well I really do need to go now.  I need to get showered and get on with some errands and daily to-do’s that fill up my stay-at-home mom’s day.  
Have a good one!
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Weigh-In … Rebooting

Posted on September 7, 2012 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Today’s Weight: 169.0
Loss/Gain:  -1.0 lb.
Yes, I am pleased to see the scale going back down.  In fact, I’m pleased to actually get hungry during the day.  A good sign I’m overeating is when I’m never truly hungry, and even full more than not.  Unfortunately, that was how I was feeling the majority of the time the last couple of weeks.  So, I appreciate feeling hunger again. 
I also appreciate knowing I’m not alone in my struggles.  It’s easy when you go through a slump in any kind of journey to feel like you’re the only one.  Even when you know you’re really not.  As I’ve been catching up around blog land I’m finding a familiar theme of needing to get on track after summer break.  From people still working on losing weight to people who have been in maintenance for some time. 
I’m guessing Diane noticed this, because last Monday she wrote a good post on rebooting and getting back on track in your healthiness journey.  I’m taking it to heart and hope you’ll find a minute to read the post if you too need some encouragement to get back on your way down the scale.  Click here to read Labor Day Reboot for a Healthier Lifestyle.
Reading her article made me think about what I need to do to get back on track.  What are my goals?  For me, it’s all about getting back to the basics:

  • Drinking at least 64 oz. of water a day.
  • Cutting down sweets.
  • Staying within my calorie budget.
  • Exercise (usually the easiest part for me)
These are things I’m going to continue working on.  And I might even print out this little card I found while blog hopping last night and make it into a magnet for my fridge:
So, here’s to rebooting, not giving up and pressing onward and, er, downward.  🙂  Have a good weekend!
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Step!

Posted on September 6, 2012 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Today I took the step class at the gym.  I never tire of how fun that class is!!!  It’s like an oldie, but goodie workout.  Even more fun was the fact that I was really jumping around and pushing myself and could keep it up for the entire class.
I remember taking the step class at the base when my husband and I were first married.  I was about fifteen years younger and about thirty pounds heavier.  I could keep up, but it was hard to add any bouncing to the steps.
Not today.
The gal in front of me and myself were step-masters today….and she was very thin.  I kept up with her and it felt so good knowing I could keep up with someone who was adding ‘umph’ to every move.  Woot!
Then I showered, dressed and headed out to run errands, not returning home until after getting the kids from school.  I’m gonna sleep good tonight!
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