October in a Nutshell

I can hardly believe it’s November!  Where did October go?

October was a month I really worked through some [more] internal issues.  I maintained my weight and the best way to sum up my month is to share a bit I posted on Instagram about halfway through the month:

“Hi, I’m Leah…as I waited for my son after school today I tried to gather my thoughts to share where I’m at right now.  When I was living with the success of being a woman who lost 70 pounds I wanted the world to know they could do it too. “If I can do this anyone can!”  And I loved sharing my story so others could see there was hope. 

But currently?  My world has been turned upside down, my life plans got all turned around, I realized some serious thought processes needed tweaking, I’ve gained 50 pounds back and, after all that, I’m coming to a place where I am accepting things will never be like they were prior to the last 3 1/2 years. 

Seeing pictures of me at 160 can tempt my thoughts to wish for how things were back then — when my mom was alive and all was well and going according to plans in my home.  But that road leads to sadness and heartache.  [insert broken heart emoji]

So, in recent days I’ve been praying and accepting life will never be what it was the first time I lost that weight.  That my health journey now isn’t a recovery of all I lost;  but it’s a new journey wherein I allow the healing happening within to help spur the new decisions to take better care of myself.

On an end note… As I heal and fight this week it occurred to me:  food isn’t the enemy and losing weight isn’t a punishment for gaining weight.  It’s a choice to take care of myself and know that in the future I’ll be grateful I didn’t give up.”

Two week after posting the above I’m happy to say things have gotten better in my health world and November is already off to a good start.  Taking time to really analyze where I am, working through the fog instead of wishing it away while I overeat, and continuing to press forward has proven good for my all-around health.

My story’s not over folks.  🙂  Thank God!

This entry was posted in fear of failure, motivation, self love, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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