I didn’t wax poetic after my weigh-in on Friday because I really feel I have nothing to say that hasn’t already been said; and then with the weight not coming off that’s proof I’m not doing what needs to be done to truly be on a “weight loss journey”.
There have been a few small changes in what I am keeping in the house, whole wheat bread, Cheerios instead of the high-sugar cereals, amongst a few things, but writing about that and receiving kudos for making good choices seems hypocritical when we’re also eating a freshly made “autumn cake” with homemade cream cheese frosting and bacon-wrapped hot dogs.
I’m tired of where I’m at and I know what needs to be done, but I’m figuring out if I think it’s worth the time and trouble.
That sounds like I’m giving up, but I’m not…I’m just deciding what I will be willing to do to reach my goal weight. Because the truth of the matter is I have to be willing to do it.
I want to lose the weight, I want to feel better, but obviously not enough to be willing to do what it takes.
Honestly, I’m embarrassed. It’s embarrassing to have a “weight-loss blog” that shows no weight lost so far this year. However, this is all part of my journey, my story, and I refuse to quit and give in to the I-love-food, so-I’ll-always-be-fat mindset.
Since I refuse to quit I’m reevaluating what needs to be done and working some things out. I’ll definitely be back to tell you about things as they occur. Just please know that I do not take lightly the fact that I’ve been maintaining for the last six months when I’m not close to a healthy weight. I have thoughts on one reason why I might be where I’m at, and I’ll write on that as time allows in my week.
In the meantime, thanks for bearing with me. I have to remember, this is MY new ending and a new ending takes a whole lot more work than sticking with the old comfortable one. For me anyway. Dang it.