Less Already

Posted on January 3, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Not much to say today except that this morning my scale showed a number less than Friday. I’m glad to know I’ll most likely show a loss this week. That’s a switch for a Monday for me…usually I’m up a little from the weekend. It’s a nice feeling.

I hope your week is off to a good start! We have two more days with the kids home from school and then things will really begin to get back to normal. 🙂
Happy Monday!

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Ready For A New Year

Posted on January 2, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Well, I’ve enjoyed a nice, lazy New Year’s day today. The busyness of the holidays is over and we just stayed home and kicked back. It was so nice!

It’s kind of funny, but I don’t have any deep poetic thought about a new year. That is, except that I’m am so ready to get back to my new normal way of eating. For the first time in my life I have indulged and I’m really done with all the indulgences. They were fun while they lasted, but my body and mind are ready to get back to work on weight loss.

This is a new concept for me. Usually I’m telling myself that I have to get back on track because I know I need to, not really because I want to. The past day or so I’ve already found myself cutting back without really meaning to because I’m just done with the junk and large servings.

Next week life will get back to my new normal and I am ready for it.

Oh, one more thing…

I also wanted to share this link with you. Jen over at Prior Fat Girl posted today about why she started her healthiness journey. It’s fairly short, and oh so inspiring. You can read it by clicking here.

Until next time….

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Weigh-In – Final Hot 100 Update

Posted on December 31, 2010 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today’s Weight: 191.0

Loss/Gain: +5.5 lbs
Total Loss So Far: -40 lbs.
Well, I think this is the largest gain I’ve seen in one week in the history of my weight loss journey. My only consolation is it’s a pounds lighter than what I saw Monday morning.
Overindulging on Christmas weekend + PMS + TOM – any heavy exercise = large gain.
I’d be lying to say I’m not a tad bothered by the gain, but honestly more than that I don’t really care. I know what caused it and I know I’ve plans to get back on track. Next week will see some of this weight gone. 🙂
Now on with my final Hot 100 Challenge update. I have to tell you that the most interesting thing to me about this final update is that I fully expected to have lost more weight and I did not expect at all to meet my fitness goal. Weird.

WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 – 1.5 lbs a week (Beginning weight 194.0). No. I’m officially only down three pounds from the beginning of this challenge. Next time I’d better lose a lot at the beginning to allow room for a gain. sheesh… I think knowing I have shown a net loss of three pounds over the last 14 weeks is the part that is really bugging me about this 5.5 pound gain..*shaking head*

ACTIVITY GOALS:Exercise four days a week, no skimping down to three during the holidays. No. Only worked out two days this week. Got busy, when TOM arrived I just didn’t care any more. Decided to skip and start new next week.
Be able to jog at 4.8 mph for 25 minutes. This gives metime for slight warm up and cool down on the treadmill that has a 30-minute limit at the gym.Done!!!!!!!!!!!! My one major victory of this challenge. 🙂

FOOD GOALS: Drink at least 64 oz of water daily. 4-5 out of 7 days (another reason for more gain I’m sure…)Journal all my eats and drinks and stay within my calorie goals daily, with the exception of one high-calorie day that I allow to throw things off a bit. No. I think I only journaled one or two days. As I said, I just didn’t care as much this week…

EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I’ve decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. Yes and No.
I kept up on the new ones I started watching at the beginning of the challenge.

HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two “foo-foo” coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. Yes, even though twice I told myself this week I was going to have a non-fat white chocolate mocha. Both times I said I was going to have one I got full from dinner or lunch and decided I didn’t feel like having it any more. I might have one today, but we’ll see…lately anything that sweet just doesn’t appeal to me any more. I guess this would be another great victory in my life. 🙂

I will be back (maybe tomorrow) to let you know of some plans I have set in motion to help kick start my 2011 goals. While I’m embarrassed of this gain and the lack of great weight loss during the challenge I am confident that I will see good losses from here on out. Remember..I’m determined. 🙂

Have a safe and happy New Year’s everyone!

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Determination

Posted on December 30, 2010 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Last night at church my pastor preached on where we plan on going with our lives in the new year. He asked the congregation “Where are you going?” He was not speaking of eternity, but where we are planning to go with our lives here on earth. Are we going to settle, or are we going to strive to be better.

He mentioned that determination plays a big part in whether or not we make it. This struck a chord with me and put me to thinking more on the subject as I got ready for bed. Not only did I apply this sermon to my spiritual life, but to my weight loss journey as well. I even looked up the word determination on my iPod touch in bed to remind myself of exactly what that meant. I found the following:
–noun

1.

the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose
the quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose

fixed direction or tendency toward some object or end.

So, as I lie there I began thinking…
Where am I going this year with my weight loss journey? Will I have the determination to get there?
I don’t believe much in making New Year’s Resolutions, especially when it comes to weight loss because I’ve failed so often in the past, but this year I’m setting two goals. They are goals I’ve been thinking about setting for the last month, so really nothing new to me. Since I have a lot coming up in the next day (my twins’ birthday is tomorrow – the 31st) I decided to post it now.
In 2011 I will
  1. Reach my goal weight of 130 lbs, or as close to it as possible. If I hit 135 and get stuck, then I’m okay with settling there. It puts me in the middle of a healthy range with room for movement. I’m okay with that. 🙂
  2. Run a 5K in less than 35 minutes. I call this a “normal” time. My first 5K took me 43:44, great for a 200-pound girl, but I want to sail smoothly along by the end of 2011 instead of trudging along. 🙂
Determination is going to play a huge part in these goals, especially #1. It’s taken me one and a half years to get halfway to my goal weight. I’ve come a long way, but now I’m ready to take it up a notch and finish what I’ve started.
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My 2010

Posted on December 29, 2010 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Foreward
Last night I found myself pouring a small cup of milk and starting to open yet another Reese’s mini peanut butter cup. I knew I was above calories for the day, not even hungry and yet I was about to eat more junk. I also knew that my scale has been up a good five pounds so far all week. As I touched the sweet to my lips I stopped, I folded it back up and started to cry. I knew I didn’t really want that junk and I was frustrated with myself. My only consolation was that I poured out the milk and did not eat the minis. A small victory!

Just before bed TOM made it’s appearance and everything clicked. It didn’t make me feel any better, because whether I like it or not my emotions do not always allow my mind to think properly during this time. This was apparent when I woke up deciding I wouldn’t workout at all because “Who cares?!?! I’m up and the challenge is ruined already!!” I only wanted to come on here and complain, but I decided not to let my emotions rule my day. So, the following post was born… (Oh, and now I’m off to do a workout DVD, because if I’ve learned anything this year it’s that I won’t quit).

It seems to be that time of year to look over the past year to applaud accomplishments and see what things we’d like to change for the better. My only weight loss related goals for 2010 were to continue to see weight loss and to run a 5K without walking.

I did both. I’m twenty pounds lighter than I was a year ago and I ran my first 5K back in April.
That’s about it for the outside accomplishments. However, there have been accomplishments on the inside that I am grateful for even if they weren’t fun in the process. While 2010 has been one of the hardest years of my life it has also been one of the most rewarding years of my life.

The hardest part was watching both my brother and mother get diagnosed with cancer last spring. From March on I began to go an emotional roller coaster ride I’ve never ridden before. Thankfully, they are both alive and healthy and with us today. So I’m very grateful to a happy ending to a rough year as far as my family goes.
Through all of my family’s illnesses I’ve also been dealing even more strongly with some emotions that have made up a huge part of my weight issues. I’ve reached in and forced myself to take a good look at things that need to change in my heart and some expectations that were so unreal they would never be met and thus I’d never be happy.
Most of these emotional struggles had nothing to do with my weight, but upon introspection they had everything to do with it. This time of introspection and emotional housecleaning of sorts has also been very tough at times, but the outcome has been worth it.
The most rewarding part of this year was the great changes I have felt in my thought processes regarding weight and acceptance, to put it very generally. I feel that I am finally “getting it” as far as weight loss goes. My desires are changing in ways I have fought against over the past year and a half. Ask Diane or Stephanie. 🙂 I think they’ve both been waiting for me to realize that it’s all for the best, and probably wanting to slap me into submission many times in the process.
But I get it folks.
  • I feel better when I eat more nutritious foods.
  • I also feel better when I allow myself a treat here and there (or even a burger here and there), because I know I’m not deprived.
  • I feel better when I exercise, and even more so when I push myself in ways I thought I wasn’t capable of.
  • I feel better when I’m not stuffed into my clothes and can walk around feeling strong instead of fat and defeated.
  • I feel better when I see that scale go down and realize I really can do this.
  • I feel better knowing I am overcoming years of fear of rejection and acceptance, which I’m learning were very closely linked to my weight issues.
  • I feel better knowing I will never give up on my weight loss journey.
  • I feel better knowing My New Ending is really happening.
Yes, my 2010 was one of the hardest years of my life, but it has also brought about in me some of the most profound changes that I know will only help me have better years ahead. I still see lots of room for improvement in my life, and for this blog … my health, but I know I can do it – 2010 proved that to me.
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Beware the Gain

Posted on December 28, 2010 by Leah@MyNewEnding

I just have to pop in here and say….if a person is going to allow himself/herself to overeat during the holidays he/she must beware of the gain and be ready to face it.

Oh my. Ahem, there is quite the gain showing on my scale today.
I’m not upset by it (no beating ourselves up, remember?) except for the fact that if I can’t make it a smaller gain by Friday my Hot 100 Challenge is going to not have really good results in the weight loss area. oh darn.
In any case, I did exercise yesterday and I’m getting the eating back in order. Things will be fine eventually. 🙂
Have a great day!
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A Healthiness Christmas

Posted on December 28, 2010 by Leah@MyNewEnding

I’m so excited to come back and tell you about my Christmas.

Let me start by saying that my title does in no way describe the food I’ve consumed in the last 48-72 hours. I have enjoyed lots of treats and foods over Christmas and the day after. I have also been reminded two nights in a row why I don’t eat that much anymore. Both quantity and type of food left me not feeling my best. So, I’m done with the celebratory foods and on to the fun stuff….

First off, you remember my husband was doing my stocking this year, right? He did good. There was a little candy and then granola bars, a fruit & nut mix, 100-calorie packs of almonds and a giftcard to Subway. Go Luv!!! I was very pleased with his stocking stuffing abilities, and even more so that he honored my wishes for a healthier stocking.
Those are not the only wishes he granted this year….

This is the face of a woman who was totally thrilled with her Christmas gift from her husband this year, because it was……

A GARMIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can tell that I was and still am totally excited by this gift. Not only because it’s like a very cool tool for running, but because it also showed me that my husband has confidence in my running abilities and desire to get better.

HE THINKS I CAN DO THIS!!!

I know you understand that having someone that dear to you believe in your weight loss journey is huge. I am so pleased that he would invest that kind of money in my weight loss journey. It’s one thing to say, “You can do it!” and another thing entirely to say “I know you can and I’m going to help you by giving you this.”
Speaking of dear people who believe in the journey…

I also got an email last week informing me that my friend Stephanie has ordered this for me for Christmas:

Folks, I announced to my family after receiving her gift and the Garmin…

I AM A REAL RUNNER NOW!!!!!!

LOL ~ Of course, this sounds so silly to me, being I’m still halfway away from my goal weight and “running” at barely 4.8 mph for 30 minutes, but nothing makes a person feel more confident than those types of gifts.

It was a wonderful day and I’m very excited to see what this next year holds for me.
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Weigh-In … Hot 100 Update #13 & Christmas Miracle

Posted on December 24, 2010 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Today’s Weight: 185.5
Loss/Gain: -2.0 lbs.
Total Loss So Far: – 45.5 lbs!!! HALFWAY to my goal!!!!!!!
Yes, I’m a little excited about seeing a two-pound loss the week before Christmas. The best part, and my little Christmas miracle I wanted to tell you about, is that it wasn’t that hard.
This year I’ve noticed that my desires are not to stuff myself with every special treat that only come around once a year. Yes, sweet goodies have sounded good, and yes I’ve eaten some, but I haven’t felt like all I want is to indulge. I can’t explain it except to say that it’s proof real change is happening in my life.
This is a small miracle to me and something I’m very grateful for it.
Now on to my Hot 100 Challenge update:

WEIGHT GOAL: Lose 0.5 – 1.5 lbs a week (Beginning weight 194.0). I am down two more pounds this week, which puts me at 8.5 pounds lost so far. According to my goal, I’m still okay. 🙂

ACTIVITY GOALS:Exercise four days a week, no skimping down to three during the holidays. 3/4 done and a DVD workout is on my schedule for today. Was going to put this in red in case I ran out of time, but decided that was quitting. I will get this done. If you wonder…check back tonight and I’ll confess if I did or not. 🙂 *update.. YES I got that 4th workout in!!*
Be able to jog at 4.8 mph for 25 minutes. This gives metime for slight warm up and cool down on the treadmill that has a 30-minute limit at the gym.Done!!!!!!!!!!!! YEA!!!!! I completed this last week and was able to jog at that pace two more times after that one day. =D

FOOD GOALS: Drink at least 64 oz of water daily. Done . Been getting 64+ in daily. 🙂Journal all my eats and drinks and stay within my calorie goals daily, with the exception of one high-calorie day that I allow to throw things off a bit. Yes, though I had more than one high-calorie day this time, but it all got tracked.

EMOTIONAL GOAL: **I’ve decided to make my emotional goal the goal of visiting one new blog each week. Connecting with others on this journey is the emotional support I need at this time. Yes.

HOLIDAY GOAL: Only one or two “foo-foo” coffee drinks from Starbucks the week I am visiting my mom in November. I will stick to regular coffee and cream the rest of the weeks. Partially done. Last Friday night I shared a grande non-fat white chocolate mocha with my girls and I had about 1/4 of it. All I wanted was the taste, so I had a few sips and was done. Yesterday I had a “foo-foo” drink, but it was a tall skinny hazelnut latte and I think that’s fine under the terms of this contract since it was only 90 calories.

As I said earlier, I’m so very grateful for the miracle of change I’ve seen in my life this Christmas season. The skinny latte was more proof of that change. I didn’t even want a white chocolate mocha, because I knew the cost of it and how rich it would be. It was not worth it to me any more, my health and weight loss goals were more important than a drink that had as many calories as a small meal. Amazing.

You know, this is just like the miracle of Christmas that is the birth of our savior. The angel told Joseph:
“And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name JESUS, for He will save His people from their sins.” Matthew 1:21

God sent his son to earth to bring hope for all who are lost. For me, this includes a girl who was hopeless when it came to dealing with her weight issues. Gluttony is a sin, whether I want to admit it or not, and I’m so glad that Jesus was born to help me to deal with that issue as well. I’m still dealing with it, but thank the Lord that there is hope and peace available through Jesus.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and I pray that you find the peace and hope that come through Christ.

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Christmas Ponderings

Posted on December 23, 2010 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Hello! It’s still busy, busy around here…so here’s a few thoughts I’ve been having as Christmas gets closer.

  • Puppy chow is the bomb!!! (as the kids say) I’ve never made it until this year and LOVE IT!!! But did you know that peanut butter-chocolate-buttery covered chex coated in powdered sugar is about 600+ calories for one cup?!? Yes, I figured this out so I could journal it. Now, I used real butter, so maybe margerine would lessen the calories some. Maybe. LOL Let’s say I carefully enjoyed every little piece that went into my mouth, and thankfully I made it for our Children’s Church kids, so only about one full cup stayed in my house. Good thing….
  • Snacking has helped me stay on track this week. The good snacking, that is. I’ve kept blackberries in the fridge, Naked Juice drinks, fresh cheese and crackers and these cool (albeit processed) mini lunchables that are only 150 calories each in the fridge. Taking time to eat a small snack every couple of hours when I feel hungry has kept me from binging because I waited too long to eat.
  • Water is my friend!!!!! I think I’m finally getting a good habit of drinking water. It’s been easy to get 64 oz in daily, and many days I get more in. Yay!!
  • Learning that you don’t have to live up to all the expectations you set for yourself at the holidays is a great way to relieve yourself of stress. I was getting worried about some baking I hadn’t gotten done, and then realized that every year doesn’t have to be exactly like the year before. I take care of the basics, keep a good attitude and don’t let the stress of not meeting last year’s (or the proverbial “Jones’ ” ) standards keep me from enjoying Christmas preparations.

Okay, I’ll stop there for today. I hope you are all enjoying your holiday preparations. I’ll be back tomorrow morning with my weigh-in and update and then it will be a final greeting until after Christmas. A small little comment about a weight-related Christmas miracle for me.

For those that will be traveling before I update tomorrow… have a great Christmas!
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Bread & Cookies, Oh My!

Posted on December 21, 2010 by Leah@MyNewEnding

So last night we had an early dinner and I ate light, leaving myself some calorie room for a treat later. By 10:00, after we returned home from a church function, I was hungry again and, unfortunately, did not settle for maybe a small cookie and some hot tea. Nope. I had a small meatball sandwich on a nice, soft bolillo roll and then….two Hershey kiss cookies afterwards with half a cup of 1% milk.

Oh my!
I wasn’t too stuffed when I got into bed, but when I made myself add all those calories into my journal I was kept thinking, “Well, so much for saying not to beat yourself up for what you eat during the holidays. Good grief, Leah!!”
When my stomach was growling I really just wanted something of substance, not a cookie. So I think the meatballs would’ve been okay, but I easily could’ve enjoyed them without the roll and still been under my calories for the day. I wasn’t upset for eating when I was that hungry, only a little bugged that I went over by so much and for fluff foods. It was the roll and the cookies afterwards that spike me up another 400+ calories.
But today is a new day, with no mistakes in it yet (I think.. LOL) and I’m going to do my best to stay away from those extra things that can ruin a hard day’s work. I can do this. First off I’m going to get that exercise done. Have a good day everyone! Here’s to not beating ourselves up, but learning from what we do. 🙂
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