Getting It Off My Chest

Posted on October 6, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Yesterday morning I got up and weighed myself like I do every morning. The scale hadn’t budged hardly any since Friday, and it was very upsetting to me.

My thoughts were this:
“I’ve stayed within my calorie budget every day, worked myself so hard that my legs are still aching, haven’t had hardly any time to just rest and read (due to busy schedule and fitting in trips to the gym daily) and for that?!?! I’m never going to lose 20 pounds if this is how my body is going to react to heavy workouts and eating well.”
Yes, I know that last part doesn’t make a lick of sense, but it’s how I felt. I proceeded to go ahead and indulge throughout the day adding probably an extra 150-250 extra calories to my day.
I know this is only the first week.
I know I have to keep going.
I also know that when my legs are hurting like that and I’m drinking at least 96 oz. of water a day it’s vexing to not see miracles on the scale.
I also know the scale is only a number, not a complete depiction of how well my body is feeling these days.
But I also know I was vexed…and while I was nervous to post this because people who know me personally will think I over challenged myself on the Hot 100 or think I’m just the same old emotional Leah, I decided I had to post it.
Because I had a crappy day.
The silver lining on my day consists of the following threaded together:
  • I was asleep by 10:15 pm, which lead to a good nights rest.
  • I did not eat an extra 1,000 calories as I could have.
  • I still did a 30 minute workout on the arc though I was sore and vexed (is that where “sorely vexed” comes from ??)
Anyway…there it is folks. It’s off my chest and I’m going to choose to leave it here. On the blog. And no longer heavy upon my heart. And for those of you rolling your eyes because it hasn’t even been a week…well…please stop.
I keep remembering Galations 6:9
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Thanks for listening.
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Awesome Weekend

Posted on October 4, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding
I had an awesome weekend!! (Monday was a very full laundry day w/a baby shower etc., so I’m barely getting a chance to blog about it today.) Besides the fact that I tracked all my eats and stayed within my calorie budget (a small miracle for me) it was full of good choices and strong decisions like these…
When the family was having this late Saturday night:

I was eating this:

A whole wheat waffle with a kids size Chobani greek yogurt on top. (Thanks to Jillian Michaels for that food combination idea.)

I did NOT eat even ONE, NOT ONE french fry. This is huge for me!!

Then on Sunday we had company for lunch and my husband grilled some marinated beef loins and vegetable kabobs.


While I had also prepared some twice baked potatoes with all the yummy goodness of sour cream, cheese and ranch inside…I chose to only eat about two cups of the vegetables and the meat, which I measured on my kitchen scale to make sure I only ate one serving. No potatoes made it on my plate. (yes, I tasted a small bite to make sure they were okay, but that was it. – and yes I could’ve made them healthier, but I didn’t want to for everyone else.)

That’s not all…

After church Sunday evening we went to a fast food joint called Cookout which is known for lots of fried stuff and yummy shakes of many flavors. I usually get my food and then steal bites of my son’s shake.

But instead I chose to have their grilled chicken sandwich with no dressing/sauces and a 1/4 – 1/2 c. serving of cole slaw which seemed to be prepared in vinegar, because there was no white sauce on it resembling mayo.

Again, I did not take one bite of anything fried off my kids’ plates, nor did I have even one bite of my son’s shake. I even made myself fill my medium-sized soda cup with water and drank that before having any soda.

What’s crazy to me is that this hasn’t been all that hard. The choices feel better and I know it’s going to help me in the long run. It is a tad nerve wracking, like “Will I be able to stick with this??”, but I know God is helping me and with His help and just taking it a day at a time I think I’ll finally see reaching my goal weight become a reality.

Finally! 🙂

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Weigh-In … Water & Hot 100 v.2011

Posted on September 30, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today’s Weight: 186 . 5

Loss/Gain: – 1 . 5 lbs
This was a good week food wise. I’ve tracked my food at least five days this week and even stayed pretty well within my calorie budget ( a slight miracle for me).
However, I am going to say that I saw this weight coming and it’s something I’m determined to figure out. I’ve been hovering around 185/184 . 5 the past couple of days, then I take my step class – a.k.a. heavy exercise – yesterday and my scale is up.
This happens to me a lot and it vexes me. My only answer is…water.

Which is funny because both Stephanie and MizFit have written about hydration in the past week. It must be a sign, especially because I need that scale to reflect the good eating I’ve been doing. Not that losing a pound and a half isn’t good, but it needs to be can be better.
Why?
Because it’s that time of year again…time for the Hot 100 Challenge and this year I’m going to challenge myself more than I ever did in the last two years.
For those that are new to my blog this year, in 2009 and 2010 Steve over at Log My Loss has sponsored a challenge to finish out the last 100 days of the year with a bang. He has inspired us to set goals that will help us stick with our healthiness journeys through the holidays and finish the year strong. I’ve taken part in these challenges every year so far.
This year it’s taken on a do-it-yourself theme (which really isn’t it always something we have to do ourselves?? but I digress…) which simply means that he is not going to coordinate it all, set rules, etc. and give out prizes like in the past. For me, it only means I STILL GET TO DO IT!!! 🙂 Yay!!!
The only rule of this challenge is to do it. Whatever you challenge yourself to do to finish out this year strong do it and don’t give up.
So I am. And I’m going to finish stronger than I have been all year.
My goal for this Hot 100 Challenge is…
Lose 20 pounds.
Today’s weight 186 . 5
Goal for Hot 100 166 . 5
Did you just look at my weight for the past year on the side bar? I knew you would, and I would too if I was you. I would even doubt me if I was you. It’s okay, because I know my track record isn’t the best. However, I also know what I’ve been going through this past couple of weeks and if you remember what I wrote yesterday I know that I am capable of more.
So, I am challenging myself in a way I have always had the greatest fear of challenging myself…by setting a weight goal.
I’m not even going to belabor you with little bullets of how I’m going to reach that 20 pounds lost, because I know that right now I don’t need to pat myself on the back each week for little achievements if I’m not attaining the main goal. The little achievements are necessary to the bigger picture, but they are not the focus here…even if they always makes me feel better give me excuses to not improve.
So, while my stomach has just become a bundle of nerves for putting this goal out in public (even though I’ve been thinking on it, planning and praying before this challenge came up) and my fingers are getting shaky as I type…. I wobbly stand before you and make it public.
I will focus and lose as close to 20 pounds by January 30 – exactly three months from today.
Pray for me.
Wish me luck.
Cross fingers and toes.
Send overcoming, fearless thoughts my way
but above all…
Thanks for sticking with me this far.
I. will. not. give. up.
Note: The Hot 100 Challenge is open to anyone. So, if you care to join me feel free to copy the badge and post your own Hot 100 Goal(s) on your blog. Comment here and I’ll follow along with you. You can let Steve know you’re joining in as well if you’d like. Here are samples of my past goals: 2009 & 2010
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Capable of More

Posted on September 29, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

ca·pa·ble

 

 [key-puh-buhl]
adjective
1.

having power and ability; efficient; competent: a capable instructor.

Today I took my second step class and I realized again that I am capable of more than I think. I’ve taken step classes on and off over the last 15 years and always enjoyed the variety of moves and the upbeat tempo. I used to only use the actual step and then when I did add one riser I would barely keep up.

Both times I’ve taken the class in the last 10 days I’ve put one riser under the step and I’ve still been able to add a bounce to my moves and pump it up when instructed to do so. Woo Hoo!!!
Last week my husband went to the gym with me and was running on a treadmill while I was in the class. He could see me through the half-opened vertical blinds and said he noticed how well I kept up with the class.
GO ME!!!
Actually, what’s even more exciting is this:
  1. The past two-and-a-half years of exercise have put me in better shape and it’s showing in the class.
  2. I’m one of the heavier ladies in the class, but I’m keeping up with thin girls – due to #1.
  3. While it gets tough at times I’m able to keep up and I’m not dying when it’s over.
Yep, just when I thought I could settle for nice little walks around my neighborhood I am realizing that I am capable of much more.
This is not to put down walking one bit, please understand that if you’ve never visited my blog before, and one of my life goals will always be to be physically able to take daily walks when I’m old and gray.
However, this 35-year-old lady is capable of more than that right now. The past couple years of investing my time into learning about healthier living has brought me to a point where I’m both capable and competent enough to do more than I have been. Doing well in the step class reminded me of that.
Oh, and you know what this means, right? This means I have no excuse not to get the rest of my weight off. So, I’m going to. Stay tuned…
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24-Hour Getaway

Posted on September 28, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding
A more personal post with some weight-related items sprinkled in….

Last Friday my husband took me out of town for a little 24-hour-getaway to celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary. The kids stayed home with a sitter for the night. We enjoyed some shopping Friday afternoon including new running shoes for him and pants for me from Kohls (I LOVE KOHLS). They were a more snug size 16 than last spring, but they still fit and that was wonderful for me.

We stopped for a lunch of sushi and a japanese flavored meat and rice tray. Then we checked into our hotel and hung out until it was time to get ready for dinner.
For dinner he surprised me with reservations to The Melting Pot. I’ve wanted to try this place for years. You definitely pay for the experience of eating a meal that is served completely fondue style and we enjoyed it. We weren’t able to finish any of the courses and still left very full.
I have to say that while I ate plenty at dinner I have a great non-scale victory to share about that afternoon.
I didn’t pack any snacks for our hotel, so after lunch I didn’t sit around the hotel room munching away mindlessly. This meant that I was plenty hungry when dinner time rolled around.
This is good for me, who has always tended to bring along lots of snacks and associated hotel stays with junk food. 🙂
After dinner we enjoyed shopping around for the 15-20 minutes the shops were still open and I picked up a little something at Pottery Barn, which I love. love. love. (even though I can’t afford the majority of their stuff). We also drooled through the windows at Williams-Sonoma, which we both love. love. love. (and I just learned is associated with PB, which explains why I love them both…)

It was nice to get away for a night and spend time with the man who has been by my side literally through “thick and thin” these past 16 years. He’s been supportive if I want to lose weight and non-judgmental if I was gaining or maintaining; and through it all he has loved me no matter what.
Yep, he’s a keeper and I look forward to many, many more years by his side, though hopefully taking up less space in the future. *giggle*
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Busy Start

Posted on September 26, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Well, I’m off to a busy week already. Whew! It’s good though and I’m not complaining.

I’ll write more tomorrow, but suffice it to say today that I had a great weekend and the scale wasn’t up this morning. That’s always nice, especially when restaurant meals are included in the weekend.
More tomorrow! : )
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Weigh-In … One Foot in Front of the Other Part 3

Posted on September 23, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today’s Weight: 188 . 0

Loss/Gain: + 1 . 5 lbs
All I feel like is…It figures. I’m still putting one foot in front of the other, making better choices this week and then TOM comes and threatens to ruin my attempts at getting back on track. I say threatens because I have:
  • Been tracking my food.
  • Drank at least 64 oz. of water daily, and more many days.
  • Making much better food choices, both in portions and types of food.
  • Pushed myself in exercise a few times this week.
  • Made some serious decisions about what needs to be done to finish what I’ve started.
The number on the scale doesn’t show any of this, but I know that I’ve done fine for this week. Some things can’t be helped and TOM is one of them.
I had a good conversation with my therapist friend earlier this week and we were discussing how I usually settle around 180-190 when trying to lose weight. hhmmm….maybe, we thought, my body is comfortable here, because I can still eat what I want pretty much and not gain.
Well, it’s time to get uncomfortable, because at 5′ 4″ this is not a healthy weight.
So, that’s my goal for this week. I’m going to make myself a little uncomfortable, work to stretch myself out of what’s easy into what takes a little more work. I think good things will come of this.
In the meantime, I’m off to prepare for a fun weekend. Have a great Friday yourself and please don’t forget to stop by and meet Sarah if you haven’t already.
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Meet Sarah

Posted on September 22, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today I’d like you to meet Sarah. Sarah and I became friends when our oldest children were toddlers. We’ve enjoyed many years of laughing, giggling, hanging out, scrapping and oh you know, the typical girl stuff best friends do. Though we haven’t lived near each other for seven years it hasn’t killed our friendship, thanks to Skype, cell phones and email. 🙂


While I’ve never thought of Sarah as having a weight problem I know she has had her own struggles to face. She’s been a great example of nipping things in the bud weight wise before they become an overwhelming problem.

Through “thick and thin” Sarah has always been there for me and I so appreciate her friendship and support. She’s offered a good balance of encouragement and support when I’m losing and non-judgmental friendship when I’m not.

Now that we are both physically active and paying more attention to how we eat I have a feeling the next time we visit together it might just be for a run and then lunch. 🙂

And now…Sarah!

ON HEALTH:
When did you become interested/concerned about getting healthy?
Before I turned 30, I always heard people say “Everything changes when you turn 30.” I thought it was a silly thing to say, UNTIL I turned 30! I realized I couldn’t eat whatever/when ever I wanted to. To be totally honest, I saw a picture of myself and at first glance I thought it was my older sister. At that point, I knew that I wanted to keep my weight down, and be healthy.

Did you have any health issues that lead you to change your lifestyle? No.


ON WEIGHT:
Have you ever struggled with your weight? After I had my daughter, who is now 10, I was determined to NOT stay at my post pregnancy weight/pant size. Being a size 12/14 at the time devastated me. Because my family has a tendency to be overweight, I try to stay aware of my weight gain.

What are your must-have foods that you keep on hand at all times to keep you “on plan”? Fresh fruit. One way I get myself to drink more water is to keep sugar free singles to go on hand.

ON EXERCISE:
What part does exercise play in your life? I know if I don’t exercise, I will not maintain. Plus, exercising is something that I do for ME. In the summer, I would get up and take a 3 mile run before the kiddo’s got up. Now that school is in, I take my kids to school and head to a neighborhood to run.


What kind(s) of exercise do you do and how often? I run/walk 3-5 miles, four or five times a week. If I have extra time, I will go to the gym a couple times a week.

Was it hard to begin exercise, or have you always been an active person? My husband and I started running on the treadmill in India, when we had a lot of “free time”. At first, I couldn’t run for a continuous 5 minutes. I worked up to run a 5 K, then I ran my first 10K a year and a half ago. I will be running my 3rd 10K this weekend! 🙂

ON LIFE:
Do you have a family? A job? I’ve been married to my wonderful husband, Aaron for 16 years and we have two awesome kids, ages 14 and 10.


How has your healthiness journey impacted your family life I have gotten my family to eat more fruits and veggies. I’ve noticed recently, that my 14 year old son will decline cookies and extra chips. ~ He is making better choices on what he is eating too.

Do you find it hard to stay “on plan” or fit in exercise with all the duties of being wife and mother? Not really, because I am a SAHM, I am blessed to have the time toexercise, cook and have healthy dinners for my family.

What have been your hardest struggles, physically or mentally, while living a healthy life? It’s kind of funny. You know the saying “A second on your lips….forever on your hips.” ~ I try to remember that. I have found myself taking a snack, lets just say, a candy bar. I’ll open it and set it on the counter…take a nibble here and there…then I’ll realize that the WHOLE thing is gone and I didn’t even REALLY enjoy it. I ate the candy bar because it was there, and then, because I don’t “remember” eating the sugar, I’ll go to the pantry looking for another snack. I try not to eat on the run anymore. When I want a snack, I’ll sit and enjoy it. ~

If you could narrow it down to a few helpful hints to being healthy, what would you say? I have a friend who always says “I’m going to start my diet tomorrow.” ~ In the mean time, she’s put on another 10 lbs waiting for tomorrow. If you’re going to start having a healthier lifestyle, start today. Start with small steps.
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I Was Tardy, but I Still Worked Hard

Posted on September 20, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today I was going to return to the Spin Class, but I was running late. When I got there every single bike was taken. wow. I wasn’t worried about arriving right at the class start time because last week there wasn’t a full class.

I was disappointed, but knew it was my own fault for assuming it would be a smaller class. Since I was already at the gym I hopped on the elliptical for 45 minutes. I hadn’t seen a sign about the general 30-minute usage time on cardio equipment, but I did keep my eyes out to see if anyone was waiting.
Since no one was waiting I went ahead and did the full 45 minutes, plus a 5-minute cool down.
It was hard and great all at the same time. I’m not sure if the levels are the same as the machines I used in OK. If they were I was a little lower on the levels; however, I did a “random” workout that automatically raised and lowered the intensity at random intervals.
Whew, was I sweaty! I had a towel with me and was grateful for it when the sweat was dripping off my chin and then into my eyes. Yes, it flew off my chin and into my eyes…for those who were paying attention to the order of events….Just kidding. 🙂
Besides the people I see on the elliptical at the gym I don’t know many who actually like to use that machine. I LOVE IT!
There’s something about it that I love. I feel so strong when I am pushing myself and seeing the miles go by in ways I have yet to see in my running. It tempted me to start going to the gym regularly again, but I want to enjoy my outside walks/runs as long as possible.
There’s a step class on Thursday that I might try, if I get there early enough. LOL
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Embarrassed, But Fighting

Posted on September 19, 2011 by Leah@MyNewEnding

I didn’t wax poetic after my weigh-in on Friday because I really feel I have nothing to say that hasn’t already been said; and then with the weight not coming off that’s proof I’m not doing what needs to be done to truly be on a “weight loss journey”.

There have been a few small changes in what I am keeping in the house, whole wheat bread, Cheerios instead of the high-sugar cereals, amongst a few things, but writing about that and receiving kudos for making good choices seems hypocritical when we’re also eating a freshly made “autumn cake” with homemade cream cheese frosting and bacon-wrapped hot dogs.
I’m tired of where I’m at and I know what needs to be done, but I’m figuring out if I think it’s worth the time and trouble.
That sounds like I’m giving up, but I’m not…I’m just deciding what I will be willing to do to reach my goal weight. Because the truth of the matter is I have to be willing to do it.
I want to lose the weight, I want to feel better, but obviously not enough to be willing to do what it takes.
Honestly, I’m embarrassed. It’s embarrassing to have a “weight-loss blog” that shows no weight lost so far this year. However, this is all part of my journey, my story, and I refuse to quit and give in to the I-love-food, so-I’ll-always-be-fat mindset.
Since I refuse to quit I’m reevaluating what needs to be done and working some things out. I’ll definitely be back to tell you about things as they occur. Just please know that I do not take lightly the fact that I’ve been maintaining for the last six months when I’m not close to a healthy weight. I have thoughts on one reason why I might be where I’m at, and I’ll write on that as time allows in my week.
In the meantime, thanks for bearing with me. I have to remember, this is MY new ending and a new ending takes a whole lot more work than sticking with the old comfortable one. For me anyway. Dang it.
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