Why Is This Time Different?

Posted on September 2, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

I was attempting to explain to a friend of mine yesterday why I feel so different about this attempt at losing weight. I was telling her that my mindset has changed and I can’t really explain it. Finally I could only relate it to when I gave my life to Jesus and I changed.

I’m a born-again christian and there was a moment when I realized that I was a sinner and the only way to become free from my sin was to repent of my sins and accept the free gift of salvation through the blood of Jesus. At that moment my life changed and I had made my peace with God. Things weren’t, nor will ever be, perfect, but the change was real and I began to build a foundation in Christ that has never let me down.
However, none of that would be had I not realized I was a sinner in need of a savior.
I’ve said that I was learning to love myself as a heavy woman before I could even think about losing weight. While that is true, it is also true that even after I started exercising and cutting out a few things here and there I finally had to come to grips with who I was, who I had been becoming and that my weight gain was no one’s fault but my own. If I was going to lose weight and get control of my bad eating habits I was going to have to change — not the food, not the surroundings, but me.
Once I was honest and faced myself I was able to take the steps that have gotten me started on this weight loss journey. As in my christian life, there are going to be ups and downs in my health, weight and food choices; but I know that I don’t ever want to be the person I was before. So, I will press on in this journey and I will win in the end!
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Run, Run, Run

Posted on September 2, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

I read this today on a digital scrapbooking newsletter I receive and thought it definitely worth sharing with everyone who is working on losing weight, maintaining weight or attempting any area of change in their life.

It encouraged me and I hope it encourages you also.

Run, Run, Run!

New paths interest me. I never know what lessons I will learn as I travel them.

Recently, I discovered a walking path that circles the local high school. The first time I walked it, I realized that I had arrived in time to see student summer activities underway. As I turned the bend around the back of the school, I heard the football team yell as they hit the ground during pushups. I saw a freshman being tutored by a senior in the proper manner to serve a tennis ball. I saw the girls’ tennis team gathered around their coach. I saw the band practicing marching routines as they slowly counted to eight. I saw the flag team attempt to twirl their flags in unison.

Engrossed in the activities on the grass, I recalled my own high school years and remembered warm summer mornings practicing routines, cheers and music. It was such an innocent time.

Suddenly, my mind snapped forward. I saw a middle-aged woman round the bend of the track, followed by a large pack of girls. As they hit the straight-away, some of them started to call out, “Come on. You can do it. Don’t give up now. You’re almost there. Don’t quit fighting. You can do it! Run. Run. Run!”

A few girls sped up as the cheers rang in the air. Other girls trotted along with their friends, barely breaking a sweat. Trotting behind the pack, with gritted teeth, ran a small group of girls. They were red. They were hot. They were struggling and yet, they ran on.

“Yes,” I thought. “Run! Run! You can do it. Don’t quit fighting. Don’t give up now. You’re almost there.”

We all face obstacles. We all have challenges. We all experience trials and tests. The thing we must remember when we are in the middle of them is that we must keep trying. Just think how good it would be, if we are tempted to give up, to cheer ourselves on with the wisdom heard on a high school track.

Don’t give up. Don’t quit fighting. You’ll get there eventually. Run. Run. Run!

– Ro

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Dove Promises

Posted on September 1, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding
I had one of these yesterday after dinner for dessert and was amazed at how the little “promise” fit so perfectly with my weight loss journey. So, I had to share! 🙂

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Short Little Quiz

Posted on August 31, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

I get this daily email from SparkPeople.com and there was a fun little quiz to do and see if you are on the right track to reaching your goals. You can see it here.

I was happy to see that I scored a “You’re on the right track to reaching your goals!” score! Yippee!
Anyway, it’s no big deal, but it was a little fun.
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Enjoying the "Ups"

Posted on August 31, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

One more thing…(boy when I came online earlier I couldn’t think of anything to write about, now look at me..LOL)

Yesterday I was feeling like I could conquer the world. I was thinking that I sure am enjoying these “up” days of my weight loss journey, but then I was almost afraid of being too positive about how far I’ve come. “Don’t get too prideful. You still have a long way to go.”, I told myself.
Then the thought occurred to me that weight loss journeys are filled with many ups and downs and I know that more “downs” will come in my life later on. So, I might as well get as much out of these good days now while they are happening for I may need the encouragement to read about later on when I feel it’s hopeless.
Okay…I think that’s it for today… Happy Monday! 🙂
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Breaking My Weekend Mentality

Posted on August 31, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

For years the words “weekend” and “diet” have never been used at the same time in my vocabulary. I may have been losing weight, but the weekends were always “free time” to eat as I pleased.

Not lately.
I think this is the second weekend in a row that I’ve eaten like it was during the week and not felt myself slip into this weekend mentality. The schedules are still a little off and I still have my larger meal on Sunday afternoons and then hardly anything else the rest of the day, but… I am finding myself thinking differently about it all. If I have that larger meal and I’m not truly hungry until much later then I don’t eat until I’m hungry again.
It’s weird and it’s foreign, but I’m liking it. 🙂 These are the little changes that I know have to happen to make this weight loss journey a permanent life changing experience and not just the means to an end.
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Lifted Spirits

Posted on August 31, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Yesterday I wore a brand new outfit to church. It was made up of a skirt I received for my birthday that was too snug and the white, button-up, petite blouse I mentioned in a post last week. I was thrilled because they were in the 18w size and not a tight 20w.

As I was putting my jewelry on I told my husband that when I was gaining the weight back I lost after I had my youngest I remember feeling so fat when I wore an 18. Yet here I was feeling like a queen because I could fit back into an 18w again!
As I went to church I also felt so good about myself because my clothes are not only fitting better, but getting smaller. I felt strong and capable. I am finally seeing that I can control myself and lose this weight. I haven’t really had anyone comment on my weight loss that doesn’t already know I’m working on it, and I don’t expect it yet, but just knowing that I’ve kept going down on the scale lifts my spirits.
I know I can do this. Little by little the weight is coming off and little by little I’m gaining the confidence in myself to think I can actually reach my final goal.
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Weigh-In … Slowly, but surely.

Posted on August 29, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Today’s Weight: 214.5
Loss/Gain: -2.0 lbs
Total Loss So Far: -16.5 lbs
Yes, I was thrilled with today’s loss. I knew of some things I think I should’ve done a little differently this week, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I can finally say that I’ve lost 15 pounds..well, actually 16 1/2 pounds. 🙂 This means I’m 3.5 pounds away from 20 and I’m excited about that as well.
Here’s my deep thought for this week’s loss….
I like to cross stitch and am currently working on the first of two pieces that will be gifts for my niece and nephew for Christmas. As I was stitching the other night the thought crossed my mind that my weight loss journey is like a cross stitch project. I work on the cross stitch in my free time, so it’s getting done in little bits and pieces. Right now it doesn’t look like anything special, but the more work I put into it the more the final picture will begin to take shape. Eventually I will be done with it, get it framed and it will be a finished piece of work that will hopefully bring joy to the recipients.
This is how my weight loss journey seems to be. Little by little I am learning about making better choices, listening to my body and losing weight slowly, but surely. Eventually all the hard work will pay off and come together to make the nice picture that will be my own personal story of weight loss and how I reached my goal. And just like I will walk by that cross stitch and remember the hard work that went into making it, I will look back with joy at old photos and remember the hard work that went into reaching my healthy weight.
Though it may be slow going at times, both projects will be so worth it in the end!
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Another New Feeling

Posted on August 28, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

As I was trying on my smaller-sized capris yesterday I experienced another new feeling. I put them on, realized they fit, was ecstatic and then was already thinking how wonderful it will be when these get baggy and I’m trying on another size. It made me want to stick with it and keep seeing more good results in the future.

“Made me want to stick with it” is a very new feeling for me.
I’ve heard people say that as soon as they started seeing the pounds drop they were just that much more motivated to keep going on their diet/weight loss plan and I NEVER could relate to this.
The only other time I lost a large amount of weight I was happy to see myself go down a size, but I never really felt like, “Oh yea!! I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing!!!” I was just happy and then continued to go up and down at such a slow pace that it was months before I went down another size. I wasn’t really sticking to a plan or changes and maybe that’s why I never felt that way.
However, this time it is different. When I showed my husband the new capris his response was, “Good! Just keep at it!” and I wasn’t offended (like “Of course, but can’t you be happy that I’ve made it down this much?!?!”. I agreed with him.
Yep, I’m excited to be getting into a smaller size of clothes, but I’m more excited to think that soon these will be loose and I’ll be needing another size of clothes, and then another, and possibly another…. JOY!!!!
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A Size Smaller?

Posted on August 27, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Since a few tops that I haven’t worn in “forever” are fitting me again I decided to try on some new capris that were too tight when I received them for my birthday in July. They are a size 18w and they are fitting better now. I think I can actually wear them out in public!!!

I haven’t worn an 18w in over a year, so I’m very pleased with this little bit of good news. I never took measurements at the beginning, so I only track my weight. Seeing that some smaller clothes are fitting me shows me that even though the scale hasn’t moved too much inches are definitely coming off also. I guess that’s where walking has made a big difference in my body.
Oh…. I also bought a size 18wp top the other day at Marshall’s to go with a skirt I received for my birthday. I figured that in another 5-10 pounds it would fit me well and I wasn’t going to pass it up because it was a WP(which you rarely find at these types of stores) — that means it was a petite, which I need in button-up shirts. And it fit so perfect!!! Being 5′ 4″ puts me at the top of the “petite” range, so petite pants are usually shorter than I like. However, petite blouses or dresses are always perfect for me. Not only was I excited that it was a size smaller, but that it was a petite that fit me perfectly.
Hooray!! Here’s to more walking and healthier food choices and to seeing the scale go down slowly but surely.
p.s. My mom called when I was trying on the capris and when I told her about my loss she says to me, “Little by little, We whittle and whittle… until we are little!!” I laughed and told her I was going to hang that up somewhere in my house. 🙂 She’s so sweet and supportive!
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