Entering 2017 has been very different than any new year in my recent history.

Usually I have my tree down by December 30th and I’m ready for my “cute and cozy” winter decor and looking at new goals and plans for the new year with gusto and joyful umph.  My sleeves are rolled up and I’m ready to embrace the winter as a time to read and learn and prepare to attack some changes that may be coming as the weather warms.

Not this year.

This year I wasn’t ready for 2016 to be over.

I’m told it’s because of my twins graduation from high school last spring and moving to two different states for college this past fall.

Sometimes my heart aches for my mother to discuss all of this change with, but she passed away almost three years ago.  I seriously think that has more to do with my ache during this change than the fact my kids moved;  I’m so happy for them, but this side of mothering I can’t ask her about and I didn’t feel prepared for it.  I guess when they were Sophomores I didn’t think to ask her about what it was like when I moved out of state right after high school.

Then at other times I think this hesitation to enter the new year is because I have been through a lot of changes and some very rough situations in the last two years and I am recovering, healing if you will.

Whatever the reason I know the past month I just felt a need to slow down and not rush around so much.  I was overwhelmed and I knew all I really wanted in 2017 was to slow down a little.

The week after Christmas was wonderful for that.  One day I took an entire morning to ponder 2016, what I learned from it and what I want to improve up, while setting up my new Ink and Volt planner.  It was glorious.

But then New Year’s came and the flood of goals and resolution posts hit and I didn’t feel ready for it all.  I just wanted to stop in that week of relaxation and enjoy what I felt I’d missed so much of in all the busyness this past year.

Unfortunately, stopping time is not reality, so instead I’ve allowed myself to enter 2017 slower than I have other years.

Yes, I have responsibilities to attend to and I am doing that.  But I am also allowing myself to revisit my goals I had set and really take some time to care for my emotional and spiritual health.

And for the first time this week I feel better about entering this new year.