A Lesson Learned from Social Media

To know my frustration you have to know the story.  Sorry, it will make for a long post, but I feel better [as always] giving you the full story.  My intention is not to offend with my reaction to a social media comment, and if you read to the end you’ll see there’s a happy ending. 
Weight Watchers offers a social media group “Connect” in their app that you can participate in when you are paying for their program.  People post before/after photos, random thoughts and the like.  It’s like FaceBook and Instagram combined.  People can “like” a post and/or comment.  I’m only on there on occasion since I’m very active in  blogging and on Instagram.  
But…Tuesday mid-morning I was upset and didn’t want to bombard Instagram with my WW woes.  Instead I decided to reach out to fellow WW’ers and I posted this to Connect: 

Can I just be honest for a minute? 

Yesterday I was up 2.0 lbs for my weigh-in.  I was okay with it, because I’d had a rough PMS week and was expecting a gain.

Even after talking to a fellow loser who was sharing how she doesn’t use all her points (and totally not understanding how that is possible, because I always eat my points) I was fine with my gain and confident it will come right back off.  (I also went to the state fair, ate what I wanted, and shared everything and didn’t eat til stuffed at all! [celebrating emoji]

But today I am struggling.  Just emotional.

I think I know why.  Here’s what happened after my meeting…

My son wanted Wendy’s and I thought I’d have a chicken sandwich, but decided it was probably too high in points (deceiving by being chicken, etc.)  So, I orderd the Chicken Apple Salad.

I wanted a warm burger and fries, but was trying to be good and got a salad.  I was driving and couldn’t get to checking the points safely while driving. 

A salad which was listed as 21 points!! [shocked emoji, crying profusely emoji]  I could’ve had the chicken sandwich and a small fry for 15, or just the sandwich for 8 and my WW snack crisps from home for another 2 and been just fine. 

Now, I know it’s the sugar involved in that salad.  I only used 1 packet of the dressing (they gave me 2) and I took out the bleu cheese (I don’t care for bleu cheese).  So, I calculated it for a few points less, but still … double the points for eating something I didn’t want in the first place! 

It threw my day and I’m finding myself still vexed this morning thinking I’ll never get it together.  I know this isn’t true, but I just needed to vent. 

I did go workout this morning and I will do my best to get through today..and then through tomorrow.

Thanks for listening.  #itsmyparty #sometimesitshard

Two people commented as I had hoped — encouraging me that this is not about perfection, but progress and at least I had good intentions.  
And two people gave advice. 
I didn’t ask for advice.  And I found myself getting offended at what what said.  
One of them suggested I sit and figure out points for all the fast food places, so I’ll be better prepared.  Um yea…I know that.  I’m not new to this rodeo.  I usually check everything before I go, but I didn’t have that chance this time. 
The other said this, and I quote, 

“It’s happened to me too.  So, I try to check the points before ordering.  I am amazed at what my choices should be if I am committed to the program.  I am committed.  So I check first to not be disappointed.”

Um… okay.  So, I’m not committed if I didn’t check the points before??
Yeah, I was a little upset at that comment.  It nagged at me for a good 24 hours.  
Really?!  
First of all, you don’t know me….I’m a name and profile on social media who needed to vent about a situation. 
Secondly, I made it clear I needed to vent and for you to tell me when you’re committed you do x, y or z and then add in “I am committed.” just made me feel like I must not be committed to this because I didn’t do what you do. 
I wanted to get back on and reply to that last comment in defense of myself.  Instead, I decided to thank the people that were encouraging and then I decided I need to be careful how I comment.  
Then I tucked away the lesson of not giving advice when I’m not asked for it.  I realized that I may think I’m encouraging someone when I tell them what I should do, but I have to be careful or it may come as a put down because they did not do that … or at least don’t say, “Because I am committed.” 
Unfortunately I couldn’t let it go.  Her comment got under my skin.  It made me think. 
Into the next day I began to really think about whether I was committed or not.  I decided to see if there was any meat out of that comment that could be beneficial for my health.
Truth be told I can be better committed to this losing weight thing.  
Do I think I am not committed because of what happened at Wendy’s on Monday?  No. 
Do I think the comment was appropriate for what I posted?  Not really.
Do I think the lady had a good point?  Yes.  As much as it pains me to say so….yeah.  When I am committed I plan ahead and I stop and think about what I am doing.  
So, for as much as her comment came across as self righteous to me, I was able to glean some truth out of it and apply it to my life.  I was also able to see how some “wisdom” can come across wrong and I reminded myself to be careful with the words I speak. 
Thanks for letting me share.  
Once I worked through this situation I was actually surprised how much better my week went.  The post and comment(s) were probably meant to happen all along.  And I guess I can now say I’m glad for it.  🙂
End Note:  I double checked the points on that salad later and I think the app has it slightly higher than it really is.  Even with the roasted pecans, which mine didn’t have, it came out around 16 points.  So, maybe I got upset for no good reason.  Who knows… LOL 😛
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6 Responses to A Lesson Learned from Social Media

  1. Lori says:

    Yes, social media can be harsh sometimes. And then again, we only have the written word and it may have come across in a way she didn't mean it to. Regardless, you found some good in it! Have you thought about calculating the points without the sugar grams? I think some foods are “punished” way more than they should be for the calories – and then you end up eating actually less than you should be. I'm not suggesting to do this for every meal, but if you look at the calories of the sandwich versus the chicken, they are probably pretty close?

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  2. Siobhan says:

    I would have let it get to me too … and probably would not have had the grace you did to examine myself in the aftermath either! I think that like that commenter we can get so caught up in our own journey that we do think we are being helpful and don't think how what we say can seem judgmental and self-righteous. Social media is a difficult forum because you can't always see through to a poster's heart. You did so well with this situation, turning it into a positive for yourself. Good on ya!

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  3. Leah says:

    You're absolutely right in that some items are dinged simply because of their sugar content. I do think the calories would have been similar.

    Many folks haven't like this new plan because WW is making sugar content a factor in deciding point values. I love it for that very reason. As vexed as I was about the points I'm sure the salad was better for me than the sandwich, but that leads me to wonder … Are dried fruits really better than white breads? hhmm…

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  4. Leah says:

    Aww… thanks. It's hard to admit that sometimes things bug me because there'S truth to them.

    And yes, the danger of writing publicly is your tone of voice and heart may not always be easily understood. That's why it also gave me pause to think before I share my own “wisdom”.

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  5. Finding Lori says:

    That would have gotten to me as well. Some people like to insinuate and judge over social media, and it makes them feel superior. I am glad the salad turned out with less points for you 🙂 It's astonishing how high in points some things are and we never knew it. 🙂

    Like

  6. Mariah says:

    Social media is so tricky! You make a great point about giving advice when not asked for it. I fear I am guilty of this and it's a great reminder to be more aware! There were some things going on on one of my social media outlets last night and I REALLY wanted to comment and bite off some heads but I'm happy to say I refrained. These were remarks coming from people I know personally who have walked away from Jesus and thankfully, I stopped myself from spewing by realizing that my words would not bring them any closer to Jesus! So…tricky tricky tricky how to respond sometimes, I find. Most times I don't respond at all. But then I wonder if I come across as uncaring…the trials of technology! Great post!

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