It’s hard to come on here and recap my “goals” for 2015, because quite frankly I took down my goal sheet early in the year. About a month into the new year the only goal I was committed to was completing my half marathon in May. And that I did.
But a personal issue occurring in early February left me reeling. Compared to some it may not seem a lot, but in my little corner of the world it was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. It is still too personal for me to share publicly.
As my world began to rock and roll in ways I never dreamed I’d experience I suddenly decided my weight was of little consequence. A few times I wanted to quit my half marathon training, but I needed to prove that I was not a quitter. Plus, my running became therapeutic. Saturday long runs became time to think, to fight my emotions by pushing my body through mile after mile.
I knew I did not want to gain any more weight and was conscientious enough to not allow that to happen, even losing a few pounds before our big summer move, but I couldn’t seem to work on losing weight and work through this personal crisis at the same time.
Then we moved, began settling in a new city and, my emotional upset from the spring had begun and continued to improve and I finally began to feel a bit inspired to start losing weight again. So, I started a challenge for the last 100 days — during which time I challenged myself to lose 10 pounds, among other things.
And as of today’s writing not only did I not lose that weight, I gained a little more the week of Christmas. Quite honestly by the week of Christmas I decided to simply enjoy treats and not worry about the scale, because I had been doing some reading and planning and knew I had a plan falling into place for January. And I just wanted to enjoy things. I wasn’t feeling my best, but I just decided to let it go and worry about it after the holidays.
Now here I am today. The scale is up and I feel I should be judging myself and my success on that one thing. I am a bit upset for not completing the majority of my goals for 2015, but I’m just not depressed about any of it.
The situation that occurred almost a year ago has brought about a change in me greater than anything losing weight could’ve changed.
Someday I may share it, or I may not, but please believe me when I say while I’m a bit upset I didn’t reign things in physically, and I weigh a bit more now than I did at this time last year, the weight of some serious emotional and spiritual baggage has lifted and I feel lighter than I have in years.
And for that I wouldn’t change a thing about this year.