My Biggest Struggle

So…last night was not so good for me.  It wasn’t horrible, but I was eating too many M&Ms and had potato chips twice yesterday.  I kept thinking, “You know what?  I’m just going to stay here at my weight.  I’m never going to be like those ladies who eat healthy and well enough to stay at a thin size.”  
One common thread in the AIMS post this month I noticed is how clean and healthy they eat, pretty much all. of. the. time.  
And my biggest struggle as I’ve been in the last third of my weight loss goals is that I’ll never  be like that.  I still like to eat too much junk too often.  I enjoy healthier stuff, but I don’t reach for it naturally and I haven’t gotten the pattern set in my life where I eat it because it’s best for me, more than a couple days a week.  
I find this embarrassing, but it’s been my hugest struggle.  I have friends who eat cleaner because they know it’s best for them, even if they don’t always want to.  Not me, and last night I had another bout of “I’ll never be like that…sigh…so I think I’ll just stay comfortable where I’m at”
But, as is mostly always the case… I knew I didn’t really mean it.  And I went to bed. 
I woke up a little tired and didn’t feel a whole lot better.  After getting the kids off to school, reading my devotional and praying I looked up my health board on Pinterest and reminded myself…
I also did a search on “don’t give up” and found this: 
Which reminded me of a great quote I found a couple months ago: 
So, I’m not quitting.  I know I feel better when I eat better.  I know I can do this.  I know I have a couple tops that are still too snug, so I HAVE to get into them.  🙂  
And after going for a quick 3 mile run I am refreshed and I know…
It’s not over, because I won’t give up.

About Leah@MyNewEnding

I'm a 44-year-old wife and mother who begins her day with God and coffee. When my youngest of 3 kids started college I went from a SAHM to a full-time job. I love being an attendance secretary. A lot has gone on since I started this blog in 2009, but one thing remains the same: I will not give up on my health. Join me as I share what that means for the season of life I'm in.
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3 Responses to My Biggest Struggle

  1. I think my part of the AIM post must have been misleading. 🙂 On almost any given day, I have *something* that's…well, let's say it's less than wholesome. I think the difference between now and before is that the majority of what I eat is good and wholesome, and I'm generally pretty close to my calorie target for the day.

    One thing I've noticed about my thinking–and I wonder if that's happening with you–is that I tend to magnify even the smallest deviation from plan into something bigger than it is. Somehow I emotionally equate eating one small cookie with eating a whole package. Or eating baked chips twice in one day (yes, I've done that one before) with chowing down on a whole bag of greasy (but tasty!) Fritos. It boggles my mind.

    Hang in there, Leah! Don't get sidetracked by one day (or even a couple of days.) 🙂


  2. Jeanette says:

    I share that struggle… Even when I think I've overcome it, I start reaching for junk at a social gathering and I'm left wondering why! But I think I will always struggle with it, my only option is to find ways to mitigate it. And I have managed to get MORE balance and maintain a lower weight, despite not always choosing to right thing


  3. Anonymous says:

    Leah, I don't think everybody is near as honest and forthright about their daily habits and dieting as you are. Just remember that when you see others who like they are always following their plan, perfectly. You are doing fantastic and will reach your goal. Love and prayers, MOMa


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