I just got back from a run. It was a cloudy 60 degrees out. Perfect for running. I knew I’d start out a little slower and I was okay with that. I was planning to run 4 miles, so I didn’t want to push it too much at the start and be dying when I finished.
It was an enjoyable run. My iPod was set up with new music, people I passed were friendly and at mile 3 I knew I’d finish no problem.
Then I looked at my Garmin… and my pace –11:22 at that glance … and the good feelings began to slip away as negative thoughts poured down on me.
“Boy have I slowed down!”
“I’m never going to be able to run ______.”
“If I’m slow again when it’s cool out I’m gonna be horrible as the weather warms.”
I’m going to be bluntly honest and tell you that as I finished up I put on the song I’ve chosen as my personal weight loss mantra/song The Climb by Miley Cyrus … and I began to cry.
The first two lines of the song summed up how I felt:
I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming,
but there’s a voice inside my head
Saying you’ll never reach it.
Yep, as I walked around my driveway cooling down I was crying. I let it out. For about 2-3 minutes I just let the tear comes.
That’s when I paid attention to another portion of lyrics of her song:
The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments
That I’m gonna remember most
Yea, just gotta keep going
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on
Cause, there’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna want to make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
And sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
And then the tears subsided. I reminded myself, “YOU JUST RAN 4 MILES, LEAH!!” I didn’t instantly feel better, but I calmed down, and I remembered
for the umpteenth time that living a healthier life is constantly going to have it’s struggles.
Shoot. Life is going to have struggles.
And every time we challenge ourselves, or step into a new arena it’s going to take work. It’s not going to be easy. But…it will always be worth it.
That’s when my other healthiness mantra/song came on … Never Going Back to OK by The Afters.
And these lyrics freshened my resolve to keep going:
But that was yesterday
We’re never going back to OK.
We’re never going back to easy
We’re never going back to the way it was
We’re never going back to OK.
So, there it is. A lesson I learned on my run today.
Yes, there’s always going to be another mountain and it’s not about how fast I get over it. I just have to keep pushing on. And I will, because, I’m never going to back to just okay.
It's so easy to become discouraged even when we are successfully running! You were smart to let it out and then move forward.
There definitely are good and bad days for exercise. Always be thankful that you can run at all. I try to remember those things so I don't feel bad if I have a crappy ride or my back is bothering me. There are a lot of people that can't even do that at all.
We all are hard on ourselves and usually for not a good reason. There are good and bad runs. You have done great!
Dang girl you ran 4 miles woohoo , wish i could say the same! you're awesome! seriously!