So, after posting yesterday I also had another thought about how the taller lady feels so fat and ugly and I’m about the same size, but don’t feel fat and ugly.
Maybe I need to feel just a little ugly and fat..just enough to urge myself to finish the weight loss already. I’m kind of joking, but kind of serious here.
Three-and-a-half years and 65 pounds lost and I feel so good right now.
I can run 3 miles like no big deal, I’m in a comfy size 14 and I get complimented on how small I am.
But I’m thinking this is the flip side to loving yourself.
Just like I realized ten extra pounds and nine months later after reading the article by Geneen Roth that loving myself doesn’t mean allowing myself to eat whatever and whenever and however much I want, I need to realize I am still not a healthy weight.
Yes, I’m healthier.
But I’m too close to being obese to settle. I need to finish up what I’ve started.
Trust me, my not losing more weight is not because my body isn’t responding to diet and exercise anymore. It’s because I still eat more calories than I burn on a regular basis.
*openly honest moment here*
I haven’t eaten like I’m trying to lose weight for a bit now and I know it. I have good moments – meals or even a day or two – but well….I know I can do better.
I decided last week that I wasn’t going to quit my Finish Strong challenge, but I’ve had the darndest time getting back into the healthy-eating-and-weight-loss-portions groove.
And then my phone rang on Monday.
“Are you still interested in a personal trainer?,” she said.
“Oh yes.”, I said and then almost laughed because of where I’m at right now.
So, today I have an appointment with her for an assessment. The gym I go to on the base offers a free personal trainer for six weeks to help you figure out a good routine that works with your needs and fitness/health goals.
I’m thinking it’s just the push I need to get back on track.
She said she’ll be checking my body fat percentage and the like…yep, I’ll feel just fat enough to remind myself that I’m still not a healthy weight. Okay, well, I’ve felt that fat often enough…but now someone else is going to see it and remind me that I can do better. Yikes.
But you know what…it couldn’t have come at a better time and I’m grateful, because being honest with ones self is also love. Facing the facts is love. And I’m going to love myself right over to that trainer and figure out how to get back on track.
I’ll let you know how it goes. 🙂