Thankfully Not Quitting

I can hardly believe it’s the day before Thanksgiving and the official start of the Christmas season.  It seems too soon!  I don’t even feel “in the mood” for it, though my house is cleaned, the laundry is almost caught up and I have all the fixings ready to prepare the traditional Thanksgiving feast tomorrow. 
So, what’s a girl to do when she doesn’t feel quite in the spirit of the days?  She sits down and blogs, blogs to the people who have come along her journey and supported her no matter how imperfect she is.  
You see, one of the reasons I am not “feeling it” is because I’ve been failing at my Finish Strong challenge and that negative feeling is lurking behind all of the wonderful things going on in my life.  It’s bothering me so much so that I want to quit…and yet I don’t. 
Because one major thing I’ve learned on this three-and-a-half-year-long weight loss journey is I’m not a quitter.  I may quit in moments, but overall I will not give up. 
Yesterday I told myself that no one would blame me if I came on here and posted that my challenge just wasn’t going to work out too well this year, so I decided to stop it.  I know people would understand.  
But I thought to myself, “Do you want to quit, or do you want to make yourself get back on track and do your best to finish strong?”
Yes, because the goal is to finish strong, and that doesn’t always mean every step is perfect along the way.  
Maybe I went on vacation with the full intention of exercising at least 4 days that week, and only exercised two days. 
Maybe I haven’t been eating the healthiest foods, or in weight loss portions every day.
Maybe I’m not reaching 64 oz. of water drunken daily. 
Maybe I’m remembering that this weight thing isn’t easy, no matter how long you work at it.
BUT – comma – …HOWEVER,
I am forcing myself to remember something else, something totally spectacular for me this week. 
Yesterday, while feeling like a bit of a loser, I made time to go out for a jog.  I decided I’d make it a quick 3 miles, or even just 30 minutes.  No rush for a quick pace, just a jog.  My Garmin was dying, so I used the Nike+ (free) app on my new iPhone to track my distance and time.  As I ran along I heard, “Mile 1, Your average pace is 9 minutes 42 seconds” 
I just kept going….enjoying the beauty of autumn leaves and brisk air.  Then I heard, “Mile 2.  Nineteen minutes and 28 seconds (or something like that). Your average pace is 9 minutes 38 seconds. (again, approximately)” 
You know that last mile of the run was wonderful as I realized I was running a sub-10 minute pace.  I’ve dreamt of the day I could run a 5K at a 10-minute pace…well, I finished up my run clocking in ….
3.65 miles in 34 minutes and 36 seconds….averaging a 9:28 pace.  
This is a personal best for me, and I didn’t even feel like I pushed myself hard.  I just went and did it.  
Yea, I’m not the perfect weight loss example and I have many more shortcomings than some very health-conscious friends of mine when it comes to eating and exercise, but I am improving.  For every little bit I fall back I push forward a little harder, and the outcome is progress.  
I may not be at my goal weight yet, but I am in the best shape of my adult life.  
So, my grandparents are coming into town tomorrow for two days to spend Thanksgiving with us and I know I may be over my calorie budget for the days, but I am determined that after the family leaves it’s back to the challenge for me.  I will do my best to get down to 159 by the end of the year, and if I don’t?
I’ll keep going.  I won’t give up.  
I know one can get tired of hearing it, but it took many years of neglect to get to my highest weight, so as long as I keep going in the opposite direction I’m choosing to be okay with that.  I’m also choosing to be thankful for the progress I’ve made and to enjoy every moment along the way.  
Please know I’ve not fallen into the depths of despair over this.  It’s just something that’s been nagging me and I really didn’t want to unload on any one person.  Since this concern is completely weight related I wanted to journal it instead.  So, later when someone tells me how vexed they are I can say, “Oh, you should read a post I wrote back…I’ve been there and it’s okay.”  
Plus, I know my reader friends will understand, and that’s another thing I’m thankful for.  I know I’m not alone in this journey.  
Now, I leave you with some beauty I’ve been blessed to look at every day recently as I go to and from my house.  These trees line the street entering our neighborhood.  They only stay this color for a week or two, and I enjoy every minute of their autumn glory.  
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

About Leah@MyNewEnding

I'm a 44-year-old wife and mother who begins her day with God and coffee. When my youngest of 3 kids started college I went from a SAHM to a full-time job. I love being an attendance secretary. A lot has gone on since I started this blog in 2009, but one thing remains the same: I will not give up on my health. Join me as I share what that means for the season of life I'm in.
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3 Responses to Thankfully Not Quitting

  1. Siobhan says:

    I just found your blog a while ago (through Diane I think) and had to go back and read some of your beginnings. Love that you keep it so real. And that you went out and ran that sub-10 minute mile run. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.


  2. Kelliann says:

    I LOVE this post/ We ALL feel this way sometimes. Sometimes we feel like SUPERWOMAN, and other times, well, not so much. But it's amazing what ONE decision to go out for a “relaxed” run will do. Perspective is everything. Awesome!


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