Okay, so last night I found myself in a situation that is not new to me lately. It’s one of the worst struggles that I rarely seem to overcome.
We were coming home from church and my friend who is visiting wanted a Coke. So, I mentioned maybe we could stop by McDonald’s. I knew my kids and husband would like something to eat, so it wasn’t a big deal. I wasn’t hungry, so I figured on not getting anything for myself.
Even as we drove home I was thinking about how I wasn’t hungry and really didn’t need anything. A snack wrap didn’t even sound good….because I wasn’t hungry.
However, when I went to order I ordered myself a McDouble and a Diet Coke.
The struggle in my mind instantly was “It’s like vacation..and I’ll get back on track next week.”
To make a long story short, I ate my sandwich at home along with some of my daughter’s french fries. I wasn’t stuffed because I’d eaten a very light dinner, but I felt awful.
This morning in my bible reading I came across the scripture that goes like this:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:15
It’s exactly a struggle I’ve had before that I haven’t been able to break completely through yet. I know I’m not hungry, I don’t want to eat, but I find myself doing it out of old habits. It’s so very frustrating and something I know I need to gain victory over.
I almost wanted to cry with frustration last night, but I realized that tears weren’t going to change anything. I did decide that I would continue to be careful through the rest of the week and not throw it all just because of one bad decision.
As I finished with my bible reading today and was praying and pondering how to gain victory over this frustrating habit of mine I also finished up with reading the following:
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37
I always come on here and say that I won’t give up, and I mean it every time. This is a life long, life changing journey – frustrations and all. With God’s help and some determination and hard work on my part I will overcome this old habit of mine. I will conquer.
Thanks for listening!