As you can see I didn’t have the best week. Barb and I both had mixed emotions about our final weigh-ins. See her thoughts here.
Part of me feels glad that I am still under 190. I also know this was a sort of “vacation” week for me, a major eating holiday and TOM arrived.
However, [long pause] I am not content with the results of this challenge, and I know where I went wrong. Thanksgiving and TOM really didn’t affect my weight this week. By about Friday I was beyond the “I don’t care.” PMS munching. So, no excuses there.
Thanksgiving only affected it in that I didn’t stay out of the cheeseball and crackers in the two days following Thanksgiving, until it was gone. Same with some desserts. Even so, I didn’t eat a huge amount of food like usual at the meals, or even at dessert time. I was fine eating at the table. It was the snacking while standing in the kitchen that got me.
That same snacking and munching that happens during PMS weeks actually bothered me this week and I’d say, “Now, why’d you eat that, Leah??” Darn it. It’s also the same reason I chose not to journal, which is the other major reason for this gain.
No one wants to journal food they’ve been eating while standing, walking around, etc. because it’s usually hard to measure when it’s a bite here and a bite there. It’s also convicting to actually see in writing what’s been going into the mouth. So, to not journal it is to not have to face it. Or so I thought.
I sure faced it on the scale. I had to face that apparently I still need to journal my food to stay on track eating wise. If I don’t journal my food, then I need to be very careful about what’s going into my mouth and I’m not doing so well with that yet. So, journaling keeps me in check. Then, at least if I want to have something I’m forced to face it right then and decide if I really want it. Some times I do, but more and more I don’t want the snacky item when I realize what it’s going to cost me in calories.
Anyway, I feel like I’m rambling now. I just don’t feel like I can whine about this gain and say it was this great struggle to stay on track this week. I just didn’t care to stop myself. I didn’t want to lose weight more than I wanted to eat whatever I wanted, and I’m no longer content with that attitude in my life. It’s selfish and not healthy. So, while I wish I was beyond this issue with food, I’m not and I must face that I can’t get relaxed about my habits and see weight loss.
Finally, I’d like to thank Barb for this challenge. She really made me think, and honestly I wouldn’t have been too upset about the weigh-in if I hadn’t had to tell her. 🙂 Something about having to email her and then put on that scorecard the truth that my loss dropped to a measly two pounds for the month was hard for me. It was hard in a good way and I’m grateful to her for that.
So, thank you, Barb, and thank you everyone for checking in on us and our challenge. I leave you with another one of my favorite quotes:
“Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet.”
(Anne of Green Gables)