Well, I had a very emotional weekend. That weigh-in on Friday was one more thing to add to lots that’s been going on around here. Nothing too drastic, but not always fun none the less.
Finally Sunday morning we had prayer meeting before regular service and I took the time in prayer to really lay my heart out to God on this weight issue. I had been in tears the entire way to church. I was so frustrated with myself.
It wasn’t the weight being high that was frustrating. It was the fact that I had fallen back into old habits on Saturday afterwards, and the lack of loss over the week really opened my eyes that I wasn’t being as careful as I need to be to lose weight. Whether I wanted to admit it or not there was room for improvement in my week of gain; like learning to adjust calories to the activity level and stick to my plan whether I feel like it or not.
In a nutshell, I was feeling like I’d rather just go back to being the old Leah who decides not to fight, but to stay fat and enjoy not having the pressures of discipline.
But at the same time, as I was praying I felt something deep in me that really doesn’t want to quit. By the time I was done praying I know a load of depression and negative thoughts had lifted from my spirit. I went to join my husband minutes before the service and told him, “It’s not over yet. I’m going to fight this and I’m going to win.”
So, that’s it folks. I’m tired of being fat and not having control of my eating habits. More than that I’m tired of being lazy and lacking discipline in other areas of my life also, because really the habits that have lead me to gain weight and stay heavy for years are some of the same issues that cause things to go undone around my house, etc. etc.
There are deeper issues than a smaller dress size at stake here and I refuse to give in and quit. I am ready for change and I know I can do this. With a faith in God that he won’t give me any more than I can handle, and the tenacity inside myself to hang on when it’s tough, I will reach my goals…both in weight and life.
p.s. I have to tack on that I went jogging this morning at the park and I had a PR in my one mile. I jogged with a buddy, who has a Garmin, and we jogged the first mile in 11:55. This is a minute faster than the last time I tried. I had to walk/jog the rest of the time. It sure felt great to run again…of course, more when it was done than during. LOL It was beautifully cool out, so that was nice too!
I'm sorry that you've been struggling– It's great that you were able to get some exercise in!
You are full of life Leah!!!! A true King's daughter!
Awesome, I will remember you in prayer my friend as you fight this good fight.
you are a fighter my friend I know you are, I also know that you will fight your way through this.
Sounds like a great run to me…see you are well on your way!
Good for you! Don't give up, and keep praying!
If you think of going back to the old ways, really think very hard about how you felt living that way. Sure it was easy to eat whatever and not think about it, but other than the food – how comfortable were you in that life?
It's a trade off in many ways. There is the discipline with food and exercise, but the reward is exponentially better than you even realize.
Leah, great job on the jogging!
More than that, I love what you shared about your prayers at church. Only by turning to Him can we have full support in anything. Keep up the great spirits!
I ducked out for a couple of months to finish another project, but I just wanted to check in with you, Leah. I'm sorry you're struggling. I am in awe of your desire to continue the fight. It is tempting to quit, I know. You're doing great!
Congrats on the PR! And great job getting out there jogging and making a new resolve to stay on your journey. Turning to God will help you. I know He wants us to be healthy and will help us every step of the way. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of that.