I must start by saying that last summer I decided I wasn’t going to worry myself anymore with what people though about my fat body at the public pool. I wear a suit with a skirt and I’m not exposing lots of cleavage or even lots of fat back to anyone. I decided I was not going to miss out on spending time with my kids because of my weight. Shoot! I’m also one of the whitest people around, so even if I was thin I wouldn’t necessarily look good in a bathing suit with my white legs that don’t tan. I’ve enjoyed every visit to the pool since then.
This summer I realized that my suit is just so old and stretched out that I can’t even jump in the pool without worrying my straps will come right off. So, I decided that even though I’m working on weight loss I’m going to try and find an inexpensive new suit to finish out this year’s worth of swimming visits.
Well, as I was trying some suits on today I was taken by surprise as I realized …. (dramatic pause) …. I wasn’t dreading wearing a bathing suit out in public!! I was noticing that I’m standing just a little taller and my stomach is being held in just a little more. Yes, my thighs and pretty much most of me are still large, there are cellulite dimples and spider veins, but I didn’t loathe what I saw. And that surprised me!
The last time I went bathing suit shopping I was about 40-50 lbs lighter and I HATED the thought of wearing a suit in public. I only bought it then to go swimming with two best friends on a weekend trip and I dreaded every minute of it.
Not this time.
Today I shopped for a suit with the realization that I’m a work in progress. Hating myself and my faults isn’t going to change anything. I know where I need work and I’m working on it. So, while I’m still shopping around for a more affordable suit (couldn’t bring myself to spend $50 on one), I did learn that I am reaching a point where I can love my body…even in a bathing suit.
What a miracle!