My New Ending

Throughout the course of my trip I had various subjects I’d like to blog about, but to start out I just want to mention something I almost added into my post from yesterday….

Short Story:

I’ve been home a week now and I haven’t exercised a lot yet.  And in all honesty I’m okay with that.  

Long Story:

There are moments I look at pictures from this time last year, or last fall and I see how much thinner I looked and I know it’s not just the ten pounds I’ve put on, but it’s also from the trimming up that occurred from training for a half marathon race.  I didn’t even realize it was happening until about the end of August when people kept complimenting me on losing more weight and I knew the scale wasn’t moving so it had to be all the running I was doing toning up my muscles.  

This can make me a tad sad, because despite having excess skin removed from my abdomen I don’t fit in some of my clothes like I did then.  However, then I remember that I really don’t have the desire right now to get up early every morning and run.  And I’m SO GLAD when I returned from our trip I didn’t have to jump back into a training plan.  

Last year I was up for the challenge during the summer, but not this year.  This year so much happened from January to May, on top of things I’d already planned to do/be a part of, that I needed a break.  

And my summer is turning out to be a perfect break.  

In fact, yesterday I missed my HIIT class waiting for a garage door repairman who never showed up so I told myself to just go for a walk because it was getting later [read: warmer] in the morning.  I began walking briskly and before I knew it I decided to jog.  

I only made myself jog for maybe 1.5 miles and I didn’t worry about pace.  It was awesome and I felt so good!  

When I decided not to run the 13.1 race in September this year I did say I would run a 10K in October and I know now that I will still do that.  It’s been six months since my mom died, since I had surgery and my son is well on his way to complete healing from his skiing accident finally so I feel energized and ready to begin training in a few weeks.  

It’s a good feeling, but I guess more than anything I wanted to share this because this is real life.  This is what my new ending is all about — making my new healthier life work around what happens and not beating myself up if I’m not as “diligent” as some when life throws a curve ball.  

I have plans to exercise tomorrow and I will get it done.  In the meantime, I’m enjoying summer break with my family and knowing that if I need to take a break it will not completely derail me from being a healthy, happier me. 🙂

A week ago I was in the process of getting to an airport and making my way back home.  Due to a storm in our layover city we ended up not arriving in our local airport until 1:30am Wednesday morning, but we made it safe and sound.  It was three weeks of fun, tears and yes…food.  

The good news is that when I was weighing my largest suitcase a week ago to make sure it wasn’t over the 50-pound limit I saw that I had not gained one pound on our trip. 

*Happy Dance* 

The only post I wrote on vacation was at my mother-in-law’s, which subsequently was the only week I had the time to get in some exercise.  I knew that was how the vacation would go, because the second 2/3 of the trip was mostly full of a week-long conference and other activities with my dad.  

I allowed myself to enjoy food and visiting without thinking too much about my weight.  However, I did notice a couple things: 

Im pretty sure these few things were key in keeping me from gaining weight on our trip.  I seriously figured I might be up about 5 pounds, so having not gained any is exciting for me.  🙂 

In the days since we’ve been home I’ve only been out for real exercise twice.  That’s just how it happened and I’m okay with it.  We didn’t realize how adjusting back into a time zone three hours different than where we’d spent the previous three weeks would affect our sleep patterns and such, so it’s taken me a minute to get back into feeling “normal” after returning home.  

However, beginning yesterday I’ve been tracking my food again and been feeling more back on track.  I still need to get back off the ten pounds I gained and I’d like to lose another ten at some point, so vacation eating is not going to last all summer.  

Exercise will still be up and down because of summertime schedules, but it will get done as well.

So, thanks for stopping by.  I’m not dead.  I haven’t given up.  And I’m back.  Because my new ending continues to include healthier eating and exercise habits, even in the midst of summer vacation[ing].  🙂

Okay, I wasn’t running across the country, but I was across the country and running.  We are visiting family and my daughter and I went out for a run yesterday morning.  Yes, me … Running on vacation.   Miracles will never cease. 

I was kind of dreading running in the heat and slight humidity here this time of year, but it wasn’t bad at all.  In fact, when I saw 80 degrees I wasn’t too scared.  I guess because I had just run in that temperature on Monday with about 75% humidity I knew it really couldn’t be any worse.

So, as I was finishing up my morning devotions and my daughter was waking up I asked her if she wanted to go run.  She was game and we went out.  There was bright sun and really that was the only rough part of the run.  Even with a visor, I told my husband, I think my eye balls might have gotten a little too much sun. 

We were bright red when we finished, but we felt great!  So far we’ve only been eating about two real meals a day and I’ve enjoyed sensible portions — not too much and not diet “barely satisfied” portions.  I’m enjoying myself, but not losing site of my health in the process.

In fact, I think we inspired someone else to get moving … This morning my husband went out for a run himself.  🙂 

Once again folks I’m experiencing a victorious moment in my new ending in life.  Gory!

I’ve really been wanting to go for a run lately, but with the weather being warmer I’ve been hesitant to go out.  Once or twice I’ve run on the treadmill at the gym and it feels good when I’m done, but it’s nothing as nice as running out of doors. 

Well, my daughter’s cross country practices are now during my [favorite] gym class times, so today I decided I’d go ahead and run in my neighborhood after dropping her off at practice instead of trying to squeeze in half of the class at the gym.

It was warm and humid, but I planned to just go run 3 miles and take it as easy as I needed to.

What a great run it turned out to be!  I finished my first mile in 12:10 and ended up averaging an 11:52 pace for 3.18 miles.  Woot!  With the temperature being about 75 and humidity around 65% I expected to average around a 13:00 minute mile.  

As I ran I realized, my HIIT classes are working.  The strength training and cardio intervals don’t always burn a lot of calories at that time, but I can tell I am getting a little stronger.  And now when I went running I saw the positive impact the interval training makes on my running and I was thrilled.  

I still have no desire to get up early and run three days a week right now, but I’m encouraged to see that my efforts at the gym are paying off in my running as well.  🙂  

Let’s pretend I didn’t look at the scale and see a higher number today, okay?  Then I can write the post I planned on prior to that moment.  But before I “ignore” the number virtually, let me tell you my reply was “Oh, no I don’t think so!”; as in, “I know I woke up feeling swollen in my abdomen, which is normal after a day of the HIIT classes, but we are going to be careful with the food so that we don’t see that number again. ”   It was up about 2 pounds higher than I’ve ever seen.  

TOM is visiting and we all know what that causes.   I’ve also noticed up to 24 hours after my weight interval classes I can be swollen in my abdominal area (dr said that would be normal for up to a year) and I know even though I’ve indulged as normal during PMS I have not eaten 7,000-1050 calories extra in the last couple days to see that kind of a gain.  

So, I’m going to be honest about it on here, but I’m also going to not let it do anything more than motivate me to be careful.

And being careful leads me to what I originally planned on writing about today….

I have a new workout buddy for the summer.  We may not always get to go to the gym together like we did today, but my daughter has joined cross country and will be working out daily between running at practice and going with me to the gym.  

She wants to try the classes I take, but days like today when there isn’t a class that fit my busy day we will do cardio.  She hopped on the bike and I did the Arc Trainer.  

After my vexing peek at the scale today I wasn’t motivated at all to exercise.  Even as I was working out I was thinking, “Really?!? It seems it is not as easy to lose this weight as it was even five years ago. Is it hormones?!?  Did I get used to eating like I could/did when I was training for the half marathon?!?!”  

I didn’t voice any of this to my daughter and when we were done she commented, “That felt good! I’m glad we went.”  

Me too.  

When I stop and think about it, it’s a miracle that I am a mom who will be exercising with her daughter.  It’s a miracle that I’m telling her, “After we run this errand we can go to the gym tomorrow morning if you want.” and it’s not “I can drop you off at the gym.” 

Some days this food-maintenance-need to lose a bit again-phase of my life right now seems so vexing, but then I remind myself that I have changed and there is hope to keep it in control.  And this summer, with my workout buddy to keep me accountable and motivated me I know I’ll be fine.  🙂

Hello!  Well, I seriously did not think I hadn’t blogged since posting about being so tired.  oops.  

I’m happy to say I got to bed earlier a few nights and over the weekend I was able to sleep a bit extra, so I’ve been feeling better this week so far.  I told my husband my thoughts about needing more rest to recoup from the harder workouts and he agreed.  

Thank you for the comments and hints about taking care to get rest.  I took everything into consideration.  🙂 

Now for what I wanted to share on Monday…. 

My Monday class is called “Total Athletic Conditioning” and it’s about 50-55 minutes of high intensity interval training.  Lately the instructor has been using the tabata timers for the workouts.  20 seconds of the exercise with a 10 second rest, 8 rounds.  

I love it!  It’s intense, but for short periods of time.  By the 8th round of whatever pair of exercises we’re working through it’s tough, but it’s still only 20 seconds at a time.  She covers everything from squats with a weighted bar to football runs, where you run in place “feet together…feet apart”.  

This past Monday we were near the end of the class, pushing through a cardio interval when she says something to the effect of, “You’ve got this!  Come on athletes!”  

That’s all I needed to hear.  

I’m not super competitive, but I do like encouragement.  Being told I was an athlete made me smile, and it made me want to push harder. 

Why, yes I am a pretty simple woman who spends a lot of time cooking, cleaning, crafting a lot lately.  I’m a stay-at-home mother of three teenagers who could outrun me any day, but I am also an athlete.  Woot!  

She made my day…and now I finally got a minute to share that with you.  🙂 

Even though I have taken a break from running I had fun making this badge to honor the day.  

Often when I am running in a race I wish I had a t-shirt that said “I run for those who can’t.” on the back.  

Two reasons…

Maybe I should change it up to “I run because change is possible.”.  hhmm….  🙂

Have a good day folks! 

Oh, and I didn’t go for a run, but I did get my butt kicked in a cycle circuit class today.  Ouch.  

I meant to get here Saturday to post this, but it didn’t happen.  My house got clean though and I took care of some much-needed shopping, so that is good.  🙂  

May went well, though not entirely how I wanted it to on the scale.  Here’s the update: 

I confess to being frustrated that I didn’t lose those five pounds.  

However [deep cleansing pause] I have to remind myself that I actually have come a long way this month with regards to my eating.  

While I continue in my probably-not-so-good habit of doing well some of the week and then having too many “over calorie budget” days I have been having more good days than bad.  This is a huge success compared to the past months. 

One thing I’ll never know for certain is whether I began overeating a lot because of the lack of exercise due to healing from surgery or from the upset of my mother’s death.  I just know that for the first time since beginning this journey I began eating without caring what it was doing to my health.  

It was a scary place to be, because I just didn’t care.  Of course, now I’m frustrated with myself because I’m going to see some friends this summer that I haven’t seen in years and I’ll more than likely be ten pounds heavier than I was last summer, but I have to remind myself that at least I have not gained more than ten pounds and I am well on my way to being active and losing that weight. 

It’s not easy to see a gain and feel all flabby, but I’m just grateful I’ve begun getting my mind back on track and this ten-pound gain hasn’t turned into 15 and then 20.  It could be so much worse. 

I’m not sure if I’ll do goals for June, but I’ll definitely keep blogging either way.  This is a lifetime journey and I refuse to quit.  🙂  

Thanks for checking in!  

It’s a double-post day for me.  I have time and had to catch up on two very important thoughts.  Now that my Memorial Day thought is done, on with a very big decision for me in regards to my health. 

____________________________________________

As I was training for the 10K my daughter and I did a few weeks ago I began to consider running a half marathon again this year.  I figured I’d do the same race I did last year.  It’s a lovely course, nice time of year and I love doing the military runs.  They are so patriotic. 

Then I started looking over the training plan I knew I’d follow.

And … then I had a pretty bad grief stricken day.

And … then I began thinking how I’d have to start training now so the various summer plans we have wouldn’t take away from the training.  

And I began dreading the thought of having to do the training. 

I enjoy running.  For some reason it is a form of exercise I’ve come to really like.  I have no real explanation for liking running.  I wasn’t a runner as a girl and  I would’ve laughed in your face a few years ago if you would’ve told me I’d like running.  

However, when I looked at the training schedule and felt dread flood my soul at the first long run being 6 miles I knew I had to rethink things.  

Changing from a couch potato mama into a healthier, active mom hasn’t been easy and I understand it’s not always going to be.  But I have truly come to understand and believe that we have to live this journey doing and eating things we enjoy — things we can sustain.  

Right now training for a 13.1 mile run is not something I felt like I would enjoy.  As much as my pride hates to admit it, I just don’t think I can handle the stress of having to plan and train for this race.  

I keep thinking, “I want to enjoy the summer with my family.  I want to lose these ten pounds I’ve gained and get back into better shape.  I do not want to HAVE to run 4-5 miles minimum three times a week.” Nor do I feel like getting up at 6:00 am all summer in order to beat the heat and humidity.  I just don’t feel like doing that right now.

So, I called my trusty friend who I know will be honest with me and she confirmed she didn’t think I needed to stress myself out by adding a half marathon to my life right now.  My husband was a little more confused because I trained for and ran the race last year while he was gone, and I could only sum it up like this:

Last year I wanted to run a half marathon, badly.  It was on my bucket list, if you will, and I was excited about the training and finishing 13.1 miles.  It also gave me something to focus on while my husband was deployed.

This year I do not feel like that at all.  He was also supportive and said he’d support whatever I decided to do.  I reassured him I would continue to take the HIIT classes three times a week and I would run or do cardio 1-2 days a week; I would not let this decision be an excuse not to exercise.

Then I decided I would not do the race.  And let me tell you… I feel like a free woman. 

Friday I went for a run and knowing a three-mile run (about 34-36 minutes for me right now) was enough for a good workout made the run so much more enjoyable.  

Yesterday I decided not to run at all, but did the Arc Trainer for 45 minutes at the gym and I felt so good.  I almost felt bad for not running;  but when I was done and felt I had worked out hard I knew I was okay. 

My healthiness journey started with walking.  As my body has been able I’ve increased the level of fitness I strive for.  Running has been something I’ve come to enjoy, but I’m learning that for me it may come and go in phases.  As long as I stay active I know it’s okay.  

And actually…my daughter and I are planning on running a 10K in October, but for the summer I’m going to get stronger and simply enjoy being active and spending time with my family.  

Such a freeing feeling….