Weigh-In … Sad, but True

Posted on September 18, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Last week my friend, Chris, and I decided to try a new weigh-in day. So, we are going to weigh on Fridays now. This morning I was wishing I had one more day to try and fix my week.

Today’s Weight: 215.5 lbs.

Loss/Gain: +2.0 lbs
Total Loss So Far: – 15.5 lbs.
I was a little surprised at this gain, but then when I thought back on the week I wasn’t any more. I have drank hardly any water and I’ve eaten:
– my homemade chocolate cake a few times
– at least 2 medium homemade tortillas the last 3-4 days with dinner
– not hardly any fiber, except for grapes daily and FiberOne yogurts and a few little things here and there. (I have a beef with FiberOne not really helping in the fiber area…but more on that later.)
You know, you can only have a few good moments to help you scrape by on weigh-in day, but if the not-so-good choices outweigh the good ones during the week, then a gain is bound to come.
I don’t want another 2.5 pound loss for a month this month.
To be totally honest, I’m feeling like a failure who will never get it straight and lose the weight.
At the same time, especially after reading Diane’s blog this morning, I refuse to give in. I am not quitting. I am going to cut back where I need to, and I’m going to keep going. I am going to be glad that I did workout five days this week, even when working three of them, but I’m not going to let that fool me into thinking that I can eat more.
So, while I’m disappointed and a bit frustrated with myself, I won’t give up. It’s just not an option for me.
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So Thoughtful

Posted on September 18, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today I came home from taking my daughter to ballet after school to find that my mother-in-law had made this pâté she makes with chicken, red bell peppers, jalapenos and spices. We eat it with crackers, or they eat it with bread- like a sandwich. Except this time she also made me some in my own little bowl with my “special mayonnaise”, she called it. I call it the “gross mayo” because it’s reduced-fat and I just don’t care for it…so far.


I thought that was very sweet of her to think of making some for me with reduced-fat mayo. She knows that I’m working on losing weight, “poco a poco” or “little by little” and here in her own little way she helped me out.

Now that I think of it, you should’ve seen the small portion she served me for dinner. I almost laughed!!! No, I almost took a picture to post on here, but I didn’t want her to misunderstand my intentions and get offended. It was like a small spoon of refried beans and about 1/4 to 1/2 cup of pork sauteed in a green chile sauce. I opted out of having the “sopa” or soup made of fideo and tomato sauce with chicken bouillon and onion. Instead I still helped myself to two of her medium-sized homemade tortillas and about two more bites of each beans and meat with my small portion of food.

Having mentioned just today that I was eating too much of her good cooking this week I was impressed with the effort she is making to help me on my weight loss journey. Who would’ve thunk it?!

What a thoughtful woman! I think this month-long visit might work out just fine after all. 🙂
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Stopping When Satisfied

Posted on September 17, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Confession: I’m having a hard time stopping when satisfied while eating this week.

My mother-in-law is staying with us for a few weeks so that my husband can make her a new set of dentures and she is an amazing cook of all things traditionally mexican. We’re talking food from Mexico, not a Mexican restaurant.

I haven’t been overeating like in the past and I am making pretty healthy choices during the day, but I’m not stopping when satisfied at dinnertime. I think I’m going to have to add salads or sauteed veggies to my dinner to fill me up, so that I don’t want too much of her wonderful rice and yummy meat with tortillas.
This is another learning time for me in my eating life. I’ll be glad when I get this figured out. I’m determined not to gain weight the month she is here, and I’d really like to see a loss! We’ll see….
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Sharing is Caring

Posted on September 16, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

I’ve been meaning to post about this for a while. It’s another new aspect of my weight loss journey that surprises me a little, but is a great thing.

I share more.
Yes, I share. Oh, I’ve never really been a greedy person. I love to give gifts, bake for people, volunteer, etc. etc. However, in the past I’ve had my stashes of candy and treats put away because I didn’t want anyone else to eat them.
If it wasn’t a stash of sweets, then it was my large dessert that I didn’t want to share with my kids or anyone. I might give them a bite, but actually that’s why I would order the large – so there would be plenty for me to have after giving each of them a bite.
This has changed. Now I share my food without feeling like I’m giving away my firstborn. I even share my low-cal treats if they ask for a taste.
I’m not letting them eat all of my food, or have their way in taking over my plate, but sharing food is a big deal for me. It’s another chain in my bondage to food that is breaking and I’m so grateful for it.
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Old Baking Habit

Posted on September 14, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Have you ever had an old “bad” habit come around that you haven’t dealt with in a while and it surprises you? This happened to me last Thursday night as I was making cookies for my son to take to school.

Without even giving it another thought I took a bite of cookie dough while putting dough on the cookie sheet. Then after the first batch had cooled a bit I took a bite of cookie to make sure they were alright. Of course, I finished that one, so no one would have to eat after me.
It didn’t even cross my mind to watch out and be careful not to do this. It wasn’t until I was taking out a second sheet of cookies, and feeling a bit full, that I stopped and thought, “What am I doing?” I had eaten pretty well that day, but it was a rough week for me and the last thing I needed 36 hours before my weigh-in was more sweets!! But there I was, having a bite here, testing a cookie there, without even thinking.
I suddenly realized that this was a habit I hadn’t had to deal with lately because I haven’t made cookies in a long wh
ile. Cakes, yes, but not cookies. It seriously took me by surprise.
Wow. So, I didn’t eat the whole tray, only 2 1/2 cookies (if you count the dough), but I learned that night that it’s another habit I’m going to have to learn to break. I’m not going to stop b
aking for my family, but I’m going to learn to not eat lots of it while in the process of preparing and baking it.
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Smaller Size Comparison

Posted on September 14, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding
Okay, I was going to wait until I lost 20 pounds before posting another picture on here, but I couldn’t resist taking one with my husband after our son’s birthday party on Saturday. So, here’s an updated photo.

This is in June at a picnic for the dental students.

This is last Saturday and I’m wearing a size smaller blouse and capris. (So, they look a little snug, but they are smaller!! )
You’ll notice my husband has trimmed up a little also. He started exercising in June and is keeping it up. He’s never had a major weight problem, but sitting and studying packs can pack some weight on him, so he’s working out again to lose the extra and keep it from coming back on again this year.
Anyway, it’s not a huge difference, but I’m excited. It’s coming off and it won’t be long until I’m down another pants size. 🙂

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Weekend Eating

Posted on September 13, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

I received this article in a daily email from SparkPeople.com yesterday and thought it worth sharing. I have always had the mentality that weekends were “free” days for eating when I was on a diet, so I can relate to this article. I’m happy to say that the past 2-3 weekends I’ve done much better about keeping focused. I don’t exercise on weekends regularly yet, but maybe that will happen later as well.

Have a great Sunday! 🙂
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Living In The Present

Posted on September 12, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today is my son’s 9th birthday. I always remember hour-by-hour what I was doing on the day he was born. It can bring lovely feelings and happy thoughts, but if I’m not careful reminiscing can bring sad thoughts too. I can begin to wonder where the time has gone, where is that little baby that brought such joy to a father who had only girls before his birth? Where’s the little tot who brought smiles to everyone’s faces? Where’s the little kid who amazed us all at his first t-ball game with his fast running and intense looks of concentration?

That’s when I have to stop myself and be glad for the memories, but remember that life isn’t over. I can enjoy the good memories, but I have to make sure that I’m enjoying who this little man is today. I have to make sure that I don’t live too much in the past that I can’t enjoy what is going on today.
In a way this is like my weight loss journey. Except not only do I have to make sure I don’t revel in past failures, “could’ve beens” and such, but I also have to make sure I’m not living for the future only and what it will be like “when I’m thin”. I can’t ponder what I’ll look like, what activities I’ll do and how much better I’ll feel to the extent that I can’t enjoy where I’m at now.
I do look forward to being thinner, and for the first time in my life I feel like I truly will be there someday, but just like with the memories of son, I can’t let myself miss what is happening now because I keep focusing on another time.
Instead I will enjoy today. I will enjoy the victories I’m having. I will enjoy knowing that the weight is coming off and slowly, but surely I am going to become the healthier, happier mommy and wife I want to be.
Oh, and yes, I will also enjoy my son for who he is each day!
Now, I’m off to make a birthday cake to look like a soccer field. Wish me luck! 🙂
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Weigh-In … Small Miracle!!

Posted on September 12, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

Today’s Weight: 213.5

Loss/Gain: – 1.0 lb
Total Loss So Far: -17.5 lbs
If you read any of my posts from this week (especially last night’s post) you know that I was very excited to see the scale go down!!!!!! I was fully preparing for a gain and thought, “You’ll have a good cry and get on with it.” Then I thought, “A maintain would be nice.” So, when I got on there and I was down a pound my spirits soared. I know you can’t let the scale rule your emotions, but I needed this boost this week. Onward and upward – or downward on the scale. 🙂
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Is It a New Week Yet?

Posted on September 12, 2009 by Leah@MyNewEnding

I just have to get this off of my chest…. (Pam, you’re not the only one with weigh-in-eve nerves..)

…. I will be glad when my weigh-in is over tomorrow morning and can get on with a new week. I’ll be surprised if I don’t have a gain. I haven’t eaten like the old me would’ve during TOM, but I haven’t been on track either. I think I subconsciously stayed away from veggies this week because I wanted sweets. It’s usually chocolate and “real” soda that I always want. “Real” soda is just getting too sweet for me anymore, but the chocolate cravings were as strong as ever. Sheesh!
My last bit of “bad” eating was that I used my Starbucks gift card for a Non-Fat White Mocha (no whip cream) after lunch today (light veggie chicken tortilla soup, fiberone yogurt and a tangerine) because I seriously felt like I might as well have this treat. After the week I’ve had I don’t think it’s going to make that much more of a difference. I’ve been wanting a Starbucks treat for a while and since I had a gift card I just went for it.
To end on a happier note, I am proud that I got at least 30 minutes of good, solid exercise in 4 days this week. In fact, this afternoon I caught up with a teacher doing laps in the school gym and accepted her offer to finish her walk with her. That added another 15-20 minutes of brisk walking to my workout today. Plus, tonight I chose to have some chicken tortilla soup and only one soft taco at Taco Bueno for dinner tonight instead of everything else I kind of wanted.
So, I think my cravings have all been filled for this month and now I’m feeling back into the swing of things. I’ll weigh-in tomorrow, face the music and get on with my day and the rest of my weight loss journey. It aint over yet!
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